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Many employees may work at home with the modern technology. Some people claim that it can benefit only the workers and does not benefit employers at all. To what extent do you agree or disagree? v.4

Many employees may work at home with the modern technology. Some people claim that it can benefit only the workers and does not benefit employers at all. v. 4
With aid of latest technology there are many employees working from home, whereas there are few who claim this does not benefit job providers. I agree to the point that it benefits professionals, but I disagree that there is no advantage to the companies. Considering firstly the advantages of working from home for staff, an important one to consider is that they get to support family in an emergency. Of late with majority of families being nuclear in nature and both parents being working professionals, if a child falls sick, then it is either of the parents who need to look after the child. In such scenarios, the feasibility of work from home will be beneficial as they need not lose out on privileged leaves. As a result, the employee will be able to meet business targets and look after the offspring as well. On the other hand, the cardinal reasons why I deny that there are no benefits to the companies are that they help in maintaining employee satisfaction and continuity of the business. With regards to the former, as discussed above, if an organization supports the workers in their emergencies, the professionals tend to be loyal, thereby, creating satisfaction. As for the latter, whenever there are climatic disasters, with availability of work from home, an employee can continue daily work. In contrast, these benefits would have not been possible without work from home. In conclusion, in my perspective, there are definite benefits to the personnel such as standing by family during emergencies and for the company, the merit of worker satisfaction and continuity in flow of work, all these are possible due to working from home.
With aid of
A determiner is probably missing here: "the latest".
latest
technology there are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
employees
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
working
from home, whereas there are few who claim this does not
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
benefit
job providers. I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
to the point that it
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
benefits
professionals,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
I disagree that there is no advantage to the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
companies
.

Considering
firstly
the advantages of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
working
from home for staff, an
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
one to consider is that they
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
to support family in an emergency. Of late with
It seems that an article is missing.
majority of
families being nuclear in nature and both parents being
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
working
professionals, if a child falls sick, then it is either of the parents who need to look after the child. In such scenarios, the feasibility of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
from home will be beneficial as they need not lose out on privileged
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
leaves
.
As a result
, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
employee
will be able to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
meet
business targets and look after the offspring
as well
.

On the other hand
, the cardinal reasons why I deny that there are no
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
benefits
to the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
companies
are that they
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
in maintaining
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
employee
satisfaction and continuity of the business.
Use "in regard to", "with regard to", or more simply "regarding".
With regards to
the former, as discussed above, if an organization supports the workers in their emergencies, the professionals tend to be loyal, thereby, creating satisfaction. As for the latter, whenever there are climatic disasters, with availability of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
from home, an
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
employee
can continue daily
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
.
In contrast
, these
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
benefits
would have not been possible without
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
from home.

In conclusion
, in my perspective, there are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
definite
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
benefits
to the personnel such as standing by family during emergencies and for the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
company
, the merit of worker satisfaction and continuity in flow of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
, all these are possible due to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
working
from home.
6Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
18Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
3Mistakes

IELTS essay Many employees may work at home with the modern technology. Some people claim that it can benefit only the workers and does not benefit employers at all. v. 4

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
278 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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