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The population in most of the cities is growing as people move to cities to find work and new opportunities. What problems does overpopulation in cities cause? How can these problems be solved? v.2

The population in most of the cities is growing as people move to cities to find work and new opportunities. What problems does overpopulation in cities cause? How can these problems be solved? v. 2
In recent times, there is an increasing trend of population migrating to nearby major cities to find more opportunities. This essay will discuss the major problems of overpopulation in such places and propose possible solutions to curb this. There are a plethora of elements which arise due to excess density of population in major metropolis, an important one to consider is the substantial increase in cost of living. This is because majority of people draw high salaries, which leads to higher spending capabilities. By virtue of this, there will be a significant rise in the prices of basic necessities such as housing, food, and entertainment. In contrast, in the past, due to paucity of population, the affordability was high in megalopolis. To combat this, government needs to invest and develop other promising towns by creating employment through industrialization or expansion of existing major businesses. As a result, there will be an alternative to major urban areas and issues of concentrated development does not arise. Another cardinal danger of growing population in cities is lack of greenery in the environs. Due to erection of more concrete structures to accommodate more people, the bio-diversity is affected. To illustrate, highly polluted places in the world are major cities only. To alleviate this, awareness of Eco-friendly style of living needs to be created, which by planting more trees and use of electric vehicles can be initiated. Accordingly, it will compensate for less trees and control pollution in long-run. In conclusion, higher cost of lifestyle and shortage of greenery are vital concerns of overcrowding urban areas. This can be minimized by development of other towns and encouraging Eco-friendliness.
In recent times, there is an increasing trend of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
population
migrating to nearby
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
major
cities to find more opportunities. This essay will discuss the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
major
problems of overpopulation in such places and propose possible solutions to curb this.

There are a plethora of elements which arise due to excess density of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
population
in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
major
metropolis, an
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
one to consider is the substantial increase in cost of living. This is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
majority of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
draw high salaries, which leads to higher spending capabilities. By virtue of this, there will be a significant rise in the prices of
Consider using "necessities".
basic necessities
such as housing, food, and entertainment.
In contrast
, in the past, due to paucity of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
population
, the affordability was high in megalopolis. To combat this,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
needs to invest and develop other promising towns by creating employment through industrialization or expansion of existing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
major
businesses.
As a result
, there will be an alternative to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
major
urban areas and issues of concentrated development does not arise.

Another cardinal
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
danger
of growing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
population
in cities is lack of greenery in the environs. Due to erection of more concrete structures to accommodate more
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
, the bio-diversity is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
affected
. To illustrate,
highly
polluted places in the world are
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
major
cities
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
. To alleviate this, awareness of Eco-friendly style of living needs to
be created
, which by planting more trees and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
of electric vehicles can
be initiated
.
Accordingly
, it will compensate for
Did you mean "fewer"? The noun trees is countable.
less
trees and control pollution in long-run.

In conclusion
, higher cost of lifestyle and shortage of greenery are vital concerns of overcrowding urban areas. This can
be minimized
by development of other towns and encouraging Eco-friendliness.
5Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
10Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
2Mistakes
A different language is a different vision of life.
Federico Fellini

IELTS essay The population in most of the cities is growing as people move to cities to find work and new opportunities. What problems does overpopulation in cities cause? How can these problems be solved? v. 2

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
273 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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