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Topic: In the modern world, it is no longer necessary to use animals for food, clothing or medicine. To what extent do you agree or disagree? v.2

Topic: In the modern world, it is no longer necessary to use animals for food, clothing or medicine. v. 2
In this day and age, owing to advancements and breakthroughs in science, humans no longer need to use animals for the production of basic necessities. I strongly agree with this idea as modern technologies enable human beings to replace animal products with a wide range of substitutes. Various alternatives to meat are found in the food industry. With the abundant availability of vegetable-based foods, people can curb their consumption of meat by switching to a plant-based diet. This substitute not only contains sufficient amounts of nutrients needed, but also helps to minimize the risk of potential health issues such as heart diseases or cancer. For example, tofu is a rich source of essential nutrients like protein and iron, making it a versatile ingredient with a host of health benefits. Moreover, scientists have successfully produced lab-grown meat, a promising alternative ripe for further study. In terms of clothing, there are textile products, both synthetic and natural, such as polyester and linen that are not from animal origin. Considering the unimaginable cruelty of abusing and killing animals for their fur, people should take artificial fabrics into consideration. Moreover, these alternative materials often have increased durability, strength and resistance compared to natural fibres. With regard to the pharmaceutical industry, efforts are under way to develop computer simulation models to test the safety of new drugs or cancer treatments. In this way, experiments that plague numerous animals can be avoided. In conclusion, I believe that animal-derived products have become unnecessary as they can be replaced by vegetarian food, artificial clothing materials or computer simulations.
In this day and age, owing to advancements and breakthroughs in science, humans no longer need to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
animals
for the production of
Consider using "necessities".
basic necessities
. I
strongly
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
with this
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
idea
as modern technologies enable human beings to replace
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
animal
products with a wide range of substitutes.

Various alternatives to meat
are found
in the food industry. With the abundant availability of vegetable-based foods,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
can curb their consumption of meat by switching to a plant-based diet. This substitute not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
contains sufficient amounts of nutrients needed,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
also
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
helps
to minimize the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
risk
of potential health issues such as heart diseases or cancer.
For example
, tofu is a rich source of essential nutrients like protein and iron, making it a versatile ingredient with a host of health benefits.
Moreover
, scientists have
successfully
produced lab-grown meat, a promising alternative ripe for
further
study.

In terms of clothing, there are textile products, both synthetic and natural, such as polyester and linen that are not from
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
animal
origin. Considering the unimaginable cruelty of abusing and killing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
animals
for their fur,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
should take artificial fabrics into consideration.
Moreover
, these alternative materials
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
often
have increased durability, strength and resistance compared to natural
Possible spelling mistake. 'fibres' is British English.
fibres
. With regard to the pharmaceutical industry, efforts are under way to develop computer simulation models to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
test
the safety of new drugs or cancer treatments. In this way, experiments that plague numerous
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
animals
can
be avoided
.

In conclusion
, I believe that animal-derived products have become unnecessary as they can
be replaced
by vegetarian food, artificial clothing materials or computer simulations.
8Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
8Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
8Mistakes

IELTS essay Topic: In the modern world, it is no longer necessary to use animals for food, clothing or medicine. v. 2

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
260 words
8
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 8.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 8.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 8.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 8.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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