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In the modern world, people are no longer necessary to use food from animals or product from animals such as medicine and clothing. To what extent do you agree or disagree? v.2

In the modern world, people are no longer necessary to use food from animals or product from animals such as medicine and clothing. v. 2
The technological advancements in society, pharmaceuticals, and clothing from animals have drastically reduced, and this becomes a heated debate between people. Personally, I think that people do not need to use animals for these purposes because using animals do not have morals. On the one hand, scientists cannot test drugs on the body of the human because it can affect awareness of reliable testing. People will feel fear if they have to undergo the processing of testing drugs. Moreover, some animals are using to make food because it has more nutrients and can give energy to people such as beef or seafood because some people are allergies with osteoporosis drugs. Therefore, they need to eat seafood or beef to give nutrient. I agree with animals are not important to produce for medicine and clothing because of some reasons. First of all, using food or product from the animal is inhumanity and immorality. Animals also hurt, and animals also have emotional. For instance, when people have a cat or dog who will really love their boss. If their boss absents at home, they will wait for until their boss return to home. Therefore, people cannot use them to experiment or eating. Some people are really like using fur shawl from fur animals, this gives to the government to severe comments and stiff opposition from young people during the 21st centuries, and using animals to test drugs, this can make some wrong way because the body of animals does not similar to human. Finally, using animals for food and medicine is not necessary because people can alter animals by other products which are made from other materials. Therefore, I believe that people do not need to use food and products from animals.
The technological advancements in society, pharmaceuticals, and clothing from
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
animals
have
drastically
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
reduced
, and this becomes a heated debate between
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
.
Personally
, I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
do not need to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
animals
for these purposes
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
using
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
animals
do not have morals.

On the one hand, scientists cannot
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
test
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
drugs
on the body of the human
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
it can affect awareness of reliable testing.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
People
will feel fear if they
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
undergo the processing of testing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
drugs
.
Moreover
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
animals
are using to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
it has more nutrients and can give energy to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
such as beef or seafood
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
are allergies with osteoporosis
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
drugs
.
Therefore
, they need to eat seafood or beef to give nutrient.

I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
with
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
animals
are not
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
to produce for medicine and clothing
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
reasons.
This phrase is redundant. Consider using "first".
First of all
, using
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
or product from the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
animal
is inhumanity and immorality.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Animals
also
hurt, and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
animals
also
have emotional.
For instance
, when
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
have a cat or dog who will
really
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
love
their boss. If their boss absents at home, they will wait for until their boss return to home.
Therefore
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
cannot
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
them to experiment or eating.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
are
really
like using fur shawl from fur
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
animals
, this gives to the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
to severe comments and stiff opposition from young
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
during the 21st centuries, and using
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
animals
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
test
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
drugs
, this can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
wrong
way
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
the body of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
animals
does not similar to human.

Finally
, using
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
animals
for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
and medicine is not necessary
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
can alter
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
animals
by other products which
are made
from other materials.
Therefore
, I believe that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
do not need to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
and products from
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
animals
.
12Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
33Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
1Mistakes
A man who knows two languages is worth two men.
French Proverb

IELTS essay In the modern world, people are no longer necessary to use food from animals or product from animals such as medicine and clothing. v. 2

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
290 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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