Do you want to improve your writing? Try our new evaluation service and get detailed feedback.
Check Your Text it's free

Topic: In the modern world, it is no longer necessary to use animals for food, clothing or medicine. To what extent do you agree or disagree? disagree? v.1

Topic: In the modern world, it is no longer necessary to use animals for food, clothing or medicine. disagree? v. 1
That fauna species are harnessed as sources of materials for human consumption, suchsuch as eating, wearing and curing diseases remains a source of controversy. From my perspective, I partially disagree to the statement that no longer are animals essential to be sacrificed for those activities. On the one hand, human demands may be satisfied without animals’ overexploitation. The more developed are clinical techniques, the fewer animals are killed for medical purposes. For instance, a large amount of pain-killing drugs packaged in whether capsule or tablet derive from man-made materials instead of animal materials. Similarly, although many pants and shirts are made from cotton or synthetic materials, they are cost-effective in price and lucrative in design, which explicitly meets the demands of most city-dwellers. On the other hand, it is discernible that animals play a inevitable role in meeting human’s varied demands. First and foremost, one plausible rationale which needs to be taken into account is that it is impossible to force everyone to become a vegetarian, fruitarian or breatharian rather than consuming greasy, lean meat, steak pie and fried chicken, which whet people’s appetite. Additionally, research has shown that animal products include a high proportion of protein, the deficiency of which may pose a threat to one’s fitness and growth. As a prime illustration, if an athlete whose daily intake contains all five main types of food partakes in a race, he will gain a competitive advantage with strong muscles over those eating cauliflower, broccoli and cereals. Secondly, some privileged individuals from affluent families in Vietnam would prefer woollen sweaters made of leathers, tailor-made long silk dress or luxurious jeweries like pearls, which obliquely demonstrate their superiority to others. To be brief, although other products may substitute for animal products, the merits of utilizing animal products is undeniable such as providing the inhabitants with nutritious food, superior jewellers' and clothes which represent high living standards.
That fauna species
are harnessed
as sources of
materials
for human consumption,
suchsuch
as eating, wearing and curing diseases remains a source of controversy. From my perspective, I
partially
disagree to the statement that no longer are
animals
essential to
be sacrificed
for those activities.

On the one hand, human demands may
be satisfied
without
animals’
overexploitation. The more developed are clinical techniques, the fewer
animals
are killed
for medical purposes.
For instance
, a large amount of pain-killing drugs packaged in whether capsule or tablet derive from
man
-made
materials
instead
of
animal
materials
.
Similarly
, although
many
pants and shirts
are made
from cotton or synthetic
materials
, they
are cost
-effective in price and lucrative in design, which
explicitly
meets the demands of most city-dwellers.

On the other hand
, it is discernible that
animals
play
a
inevitable role in meeting human’s varied demands.
First
and foremost, one plausible rationale which needs to
be taken
into account is that it is impossible to force everyone to become a vegetarian,
fruitarian
or
breatharian
rather
than consuming greasy, lean meat, steak pie and fried chicken, which whet
people
’s appetite.
Additionally
, research has shown that
animal
products
include a high proportion of protein, the deficiency of which may pose a threat to one’s fitness and growth. As a prime illustration, if an athlete whose daily intake contains all five main types of food partakes in a race, he will gain a competitive advantage with strong muscles over those eating cauliflower, broccoli and cereals.
Secondly
,
some
privileged individuals from affluent families in Vietnam would prefer
woollen
sweaters made of leathers, tailor-made long silk dress or luxurious
jeweries
like pearls, which
obliquely
demonstrate their superiority to others.

To be brief, although other
products
may substitute for
animal
products
, the merits of utilizing
animal
products
is undeniable such as providing the inhabitants with nutritious food, superior
jewellers
' and clothes which represent high living standards.
8Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
16Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7Mistakes
Learn a language, and you’ll avoid a war.
Arab Proverb

IELTS essay Topic: In the modern world, it is no longer necessary to use animals for food, clothing or medicine. disagree? v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
315 words
6
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
Similar posts