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Topic: Fast food is now universally in most countries and is becoming increasingly popular. Some feel that this is a positive trend while others not. What is your opinion on this? v.2

Topic: Fast food is now universally in most countries and is becoming increasingly popular. Some feel that this is a positive trend while others not. What is your opinion on this? v. 2
It is true that the past 50 years have seen a substantial growth in the popularity of fast food. While it is of paramount importance to many people, especially people on a tight budget, I tend to argue that it has a more negative effect on people than positive one. On the one hand, there are several advantages of this kind of junk food. Firstly, it is undeniable that fast food is a top choice for those who have a heavy workload. They usually do not have time to whip up their meals. Thus, it is more convenient for them to grab fast food and consume it during break time without investing much time in preparing ingredients. The second reason is that food such as hamburgers, fried chicken, and French fries are considered reasonably priced dishes for those living on breadline. Thanks to the advanced technology, fast food chain now can generate mass products more rapidly and inexpensive than manually cooking, which leads to the affordability for everyone. On the other hand, I would argue that the above benefits are negated by a serious problem. The single issue is that fast food has a detrimental impact on our health. A vast amount of fat and salt used in producing fast food may be responsible for some fatal diseases such as high blood pressure, obesity, and diabetes. In spite of its positive influence on people' s lifestyle, the cost and inconvenience of treating these ailments it causes to later life are significant. In other words, while fast food is beneficial in short time, its long-term effects are generally deleterious. By the way of conclusion, I hold the view that fast food will become more popular as the pace of life. However, we should be aware of its disadvantages to have a more healthy diet.
It is true that the past 50 years have
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
seen
a substantial growth in the popularity of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
fast
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
. While it is of paramount importance to
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
,
especially
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
on a tight budget, I tend to argue that it has a more
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
effect on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
than
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
positive
one.

On the one hand, there are several advantages of this kind of junk
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
.
Firstly
, it is undeniable that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
fast
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
is a top choice for those who have a heavy workload. They
usually
do not have
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
to whip up their meals.
Thus
, it is more convenient for them to grab
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
fast
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
and consume it during break
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
without investing much
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
in preparing ingredients. The second reason is that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
such as hamburgers, fried chicken, and French fries
are considered
reasonably
priced dishes for those living on breadline. Thanks to the advanced technology,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
fast
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
chain
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
now
can generate mass products more
rapidly
and inexpensive than
manually
cooking, which leads to the affordability for everyone.

On the other hand
, I would argue that the above benefits
are negated
by a serious problem. The single issue is that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
fast
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
has a detrimental impact on our health. A vast amount of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
fat
and salt
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
in producing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
fast
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
may be responsible for
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
fatal diseases such as high blood pressure, obesity, and diabetes.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
In spite of
its
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
positive
influence on
Possible spelling mistake found.
people&
#039; s lifestyle, the cost and inconvenience of treating these ailments it causes to later life are significant.
In other words
, while
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
fast
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
is beneficial in short
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
, its long-term effects are
generally
deleterious.

By the way of conclusion, I hold the view that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
fast
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
will become more popular as the pace of life.
However
, we should be aware of its disadvantages to have a more healthy diet.
11Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
26Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
1Mistakes
The conquest of learning is achieved through the knowledge of languages.
Roger Bacon

IELTS essay Topic: Fast food is now universally in most countries and is becoming increasingly popular. Some feel that this is a positive trend while others not. What is your opinion on this? v. 2

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
303 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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