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Fast food is now universally in most countries and is becoming increasingly popular. Some feel that this is a positive trend, while others do not. What are your opinions in this? v.1

Fast food is now universally in most countries and is becoming increasingly popular. Some feel that this is a positive trend, while others do not. What are your opinions in this? v. 1
There are various different perspectives on the issue of fast food. Some people believe that this kind of food has a positive role to play in the world because of its convenience and low cost; however, I would argue that it is harmful both to the people who eat it and to society at large. There are two main reasons for this. Firstly, it is a well-known fact that eating too much fast food is extremely unhealthy. Foods such as fried chicken, hamburgers and chips contain a great deal of fat and salt, which cause major health problems like high blood pressure, obesity and heart disease, although I certainly agree that fast food is both cheap and convenient, the illnesses it causes when we get older are very expensive and it is the taxpayer who often has to pay for this treatment. In addition to this, many fast food restaurants advertise to children in order to influence their future eating habits. The McDonalds clown is a good example of this kind of advertising. Ronald McDonald’s bright clothes and smile are clearly designed to attract the attention of children, who then push their parents to take them to McDonalds. I believe the restaurant does this because it feels that children who grow up eating in McDonalds also provides playgrounds and holds children’s birthday parties to get busy parents through the door. In conclusion, I once again restate my view that fast food has a negative effect on our lives because of the health programs it causes and the way that fast food chains try to change the eating habits of children.
There are various
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
perspectives on the issue of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
fast
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
believe that this kind of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
has a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
positive
role to play in the world
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of its convenience and low cost;
however
, I would argue that it is harmful both to the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
who
eat it and to society at large.

There are two main reasons for this.

Firstly
,
it is a well-known fact that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
eating
too much
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
fast
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
is
extremely
unhealthy.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Foods
such as fried chicken, hamburgers and chips contain a great deal of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
fat
and salt, which cause major health problems like high blood pressure, obesity and heart disease, although I
certainly
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
fast
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
is both
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
cheap
and convenient, the illnesses it causes when we
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
older are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
expensive and it is the taxpayer
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
who
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
often
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
has to
pay for this treatment.

In addition
to this,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
fast
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
restaurants advertise to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
in order to influence their future
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
eating
habits. The
Did you mean the fast food chain "McDonald's" (always spelled with a possessive apostrophe)?
McDonalds
clown is a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
example of this kind of advertising. Ronald McDonald’s bright clothes and smile are
clearly
designed to attract the attention of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
who
then push their parents to take them to
Did you mean the fast food chain "McDonald's" (always spelled with a possessive apostrophe)?
McDonalds
. I believe the restaurant does this
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
it feels that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
who
grow up
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
eating
in
Did you mean the fast food chain "McDonald's" (always spelled with a possessive apostrophe)?
McDonalds
also
provides playgrounds and holds
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children’s
birthday parties to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
busy parents through the door.

In conclusion
, I once again restate my view that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
fast
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
has a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
effect on our
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
lives
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of the health programs it causes and the way that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
fast
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
chains try to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
change
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
eating
habits of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
.
7Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
27Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
3Mistakes

IELTS essay Fast food is now universally in most countries and is becoming increasingly popular. Some feel that this is a positive trend, while others do not. What are your opinions in this? v. 1

Essay
  American English
5 paragraphs
270 words
6
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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