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Topic: Do you agree or disagree with the following statement? Teachers should be paid according to how much their students learn. Give specific reasons and examples to support your opinion. v.4

Topic: Teachers should be paid according to how much their students learn. Give specific reasons and examples to support your opinion. v. 4
Education plays an important role in one’s life so as teachers. Teachers build the base of education when we are kids till we end up studying at the university. Some people believe that efforts of teaching students should be valued by paying according to how much the students learn from teachers. However, I definitely believe that it is unfair to pay teachers like that because it will create discrimination among the students in the class, students will lose their opportunity to widen their knowledge from their professors in areas other than the test syllabus, and teachers do not have control selecting the students for their class. To begin with, if professors or teachers are paid according to students learning, they will be unfair to the students who are below average in their performance. These students need more attention form teachers as it takes more time to learn things for them as compare to other students. If professors are paid according to students’ grade, they will try to focus on bright and average students who can get the high score easily. Thus this will create discrimination among the students, and students who require more help from their teachers will stay behind in their class. In addition, if teachers are getting money according to students’ score, they will teach them the material which will be on the test. They will not waste their time teaching them about the topics that are not related to the exam. For an instance, when I was in 12th grade in India, we had the board test and I joined the class of the professor to prepare for the test. It was a private institute, the professor was paid on our score. The professor was teaching us only for the topics which are important for the test in that class. I often went to him if I had any questions, and he explained me in details if he was free, but in class he taught us only exam oriented syllabus. This is because he was paid on the students’ grade in the board, and we lost our chance to learn the topic in details. Thus this will narrow down the students’ opportunity to widen their knowledge from their professors. Last but not least, teachers do not have choice to select the students for his class. The school or college decides the class size and students for his class. If in one class, most of the students are smart, they will get the high score with less efforts. However, if one class is full of mediocre students, over all score for that class will remain low instead of teacher’s great efforts. Thus we cannot decide teachers’ skill according to students learning. To sum it up, some people think that teachers should be paid according to students’ learning. I totally disagree with that because teachers will differentiate their students according to their intelligence, students will not get chance to broaden their knowledge from their teachers, and teachers do not choose students for their class so their efforts will not be valued properly.
Education plays an
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
role in one’s life
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
as
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
teachers
.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Teachers
build the base of education when we are kids till we
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
end
up studying at the university.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
believe that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
efforts
of teaching
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
should
be valued
by paying
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
according
to how much the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
learn from
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
teachers
.
However
, I definitely believe that it is unfair to pay
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
teachers
like that
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
it will create discrimination among the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
in the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
class
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
will lose their opportunity to widen their knowledge from their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
professors
in areas other than the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
test
syllabus, and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
teachers
do not have control selecting the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
for their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
class
.

To
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
begin
with, if
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
professors
or
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
teachers
are
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
paid
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
according
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
learning, they will be unfair to the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
who are below average in their performance. These
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
need more attention form
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
teachers
as it takes more time to learn things for them as compare to other
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
. If
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
professors
are
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
paid
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
according
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students’
grade, they will try to focus on bright and average
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
who can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
the high
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
score
easily
.
Did you forget a comma after a conjunctive/linking adverb?
Thus
this will create discrimination among the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
, and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
who require more
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
from their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
teachers
will stay behind in their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
class
.

In addition
, if
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
teachers
are getting money
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
according
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students’
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
score
, they will teach them the material which will be on the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
test
. They will not waste their time teaching them about the topics that are not related to the exam. For an instance, when I was in 12th grade in India, we had the board
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
test
and I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
joined
the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
class
of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
professor
to prepare for the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
test
. It was a private institute, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
professor
was
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
paid
on our
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
score
. The
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
professor
was teaching us
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
for the topics which are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
for the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
test
in that
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
class
. I
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
often
went to him if I had any questions, and he
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
explained
me in
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
details
if he was free,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
in
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
class
he taught us
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
exam oriented syllabus. This is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
he was
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
paid
on the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students’
grade in the board, and we lost our chance to learn the topic in
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
details
.
Did you forget a comma after a conjunctive/linking adverb?
Thus
this will narrow down the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students’
opportunity to widen their knowledge from their professors.

Last
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
not least,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
teachers
do not have choice to select the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
for his
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
class
. The school or college decides the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
class
size and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
for his
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
class
. If in one
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
class
, most of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
are smart, they will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
the high
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
score
with
Did you mean "fewer"? The noun efforts is countable.
less
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
efforts
.
However
, if one
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
class
is full of mediocre
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
, over all
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
score
for that
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
class
will remain low
instead
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
teacher’s
great
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
efforts
.
Did you forget a comma after a conjunctive/linking adverb?
Thus
we cannot decide
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
teachers’
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skill
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
according
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
learning.

To sum it up,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
teachers
should be
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
paid
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
according
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students’
learning. I
totally
disagree with that
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
teachers
will differentiate their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
according
to their intelligence,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
will not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
chance to broaden their knowledge from their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
teachers
, and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
teachers
do not choose
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
for their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
class
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
efforts
will not
be valued
properly
.
9Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
73Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
4Mistakes

IELTS essay Topic: Teachers should be paid according to how much their students learn. Give specific reasons and examples to support your opinion. v. 4

Essay
  American English
5 paragraphs
513 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 5.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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