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Do you agree or disagree with the following statement? The ability to maintain a small number of friends for a long time is more important to happiness than the ability to make new friends easily. v.874

The ability to maintain a small number of friends for a long time is more important to happiness than the ability to make new friends easily. v. 874
Friends are the people who can support and delight us in our life journey. Some people like to keep in touch with small number friends for a lasting time; while others prefer making new friends. As far as I am concerned, people maintain a few friends for a long time is more essential to happiness. First of all, long and lasting friends are more familiar with who we are. There is no need to pretend ourselves in front of these old friends because they already know us well. On the contrast, people always want to be best and care a lot of details when getting along with new friends which will put pressure on such relationship which makes people unhappy. For example, people values first impression very much so that they will behave solemnly and talk gently when meet a new friend. Getting along with others under such uneasy atmosphere will ruin one’s mood. Therefore, people will feel much joyful when getting along with old friends because they can be themselves at ease. Another point is that most of the old friends have the common interests and goals. People interact with those who have the same ambition can inspire each other and feel more accomplishment. Most of the long lasting friends are usually initiated since school and colleges, they study in the same field or join the same clubs so that they often have the same insight for maintain their friendships. Take myself for example, parts of my friends major in the chemical engineering so we always study together and share experiences with each other. Because we all dedicated in the similar industry so that we know the ups and downs in both academic and career; therefore, we can support mutually and keep the warm of our friendships. In conclusion, friends are indeed important in one’s life. With the old and lasting friends, people need not to guise themselves so that they can feel free and be happier with these friends. Furthermore, old friends have the common interests provide the joyful not only on academic but also on the career and the life.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Friends
are the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
who can support and delight us in our life journey.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
like to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
keep
in touch with
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
small
number
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
friends
for a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
lasting
time; while others prefer making new
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
friends
. As far as I
am concerned
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
maintain a few
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
friends
for a long time is more essential to happiness.

This phrase is redundant. Consider using "first".
First of all
, long and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
lasting
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
friends
are more familiar with who we are. There is no need to pretend ourselves in front of these
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
old
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
friends
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
they already know us well. On the contrast,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
always want to be best and care
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
a lot of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
details
when getting along with new
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
friends
which will put pressure on such relationship which
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
makes
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
unhappy.
For example
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
If 'people' is plural here, don't use the third-person singular verb.
values
first
impression
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
much
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
that they will behave
solemnly
and talk
gently
when
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
meet
a new
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
friend
. Getting along with others under such uneasy atmosphere will ruin one’s mood.
Therefore
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
will feel much joyful when getting along with
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
old
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
friends
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
they can be themselves at
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
ease
.

Another point is that most of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
old
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
friends
have the common interests and goals.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
People
interact with those who have the same ambition can inspire each
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
and feel more accomplishment. Most of the long
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
lasting
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
friends
are
usually
initiated since school and colleges, they study in the same field or
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
join
the same clubs
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
that they
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
often
have the same insight for maintain their friendships. Take myself
for example
, parts of my
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
friends
major in the chemical engineering
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
we always study together and share experiences with each
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Because
we all dedicated in the similar industry
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
that we know the ups and downs in both academic and career;
therefore
, we can support
mutually
and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
keep
The phrase 'the warm of' is not correct. Use a noun, not an adjective, between 'the' and 'of'.
the warm of
our friendships.

In conclusion
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
friends
are
indeed
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
in one’s life. With the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
old
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
lasting
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
friends
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
need not to guise themselves
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
that they can feel free and be happier with these
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
friends
.
Furthermore
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
old
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
friends
have the common interests provide the joyful not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
on academic
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
also
on the career and the life.
14Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
36Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
5Mistakes
Language is the blood of the soul into which thoughts run and out of which they grow.
Oliver Wendell Holmes

IELTS essay The ability to maintain a small number of friends for a long time is more important to happiness than the ability to make new friends easily. v. 874

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
353 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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