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DO YOU AGREE OR DISAGREE WITH THE FOLLOWING STATEMENT? TEACHERS SHOULD BE PAID ACCORDING TO HOW MUCH THEIR STUDENTS LEARN. Give specific reasons and examples to support your opinion v.381

TEACHERS SHOULD BE PAID ACCORDING TO HOW MUCH THEIR STUDENTS LEARN. Give specific reasons and examples to support your opinion v. 381
There is no doubt that these days children grow up faster than before, therefore through time their commitment to parents changes. However, the question: How do parents should affect their children's lives? Is being a controversial issue nowadays. In this essay I am going to examine this phenomenon from several viewpoints? On one side of the argument, there are people who argue that parents should allow their kids to take decisions lonely after 16 years old. The main reason for believing in this is that kids nowadays are different than before 20 years and each generation is being more independent quicker than the previous one. For example, several teenagers finish their high school at the age of 16 and they have to be able to join a university and act independently daily. Furthermore, the new technology is playing an important role in the kids' parent relationship. On the other hand, it is also possible to consider it with the opposing case. It is often argued that in fact parents must have an effective place in their children's opinions because of their lack of experience and knowledge. Moreover, the new world is not safe for them to start alone, so they need support and advice all the time. For instance, some parents are being connected to their kids wherever they are, even if they are studying or working abroad through smart phones and devices. In conclusion, as we have seen there is no easy answer this question, however, I tend to believe that parents care will never end towards their children and it is a required one because of its honesty and sincerity.
There is no doubt that these days children grow up faster than
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
before
,
therefore
through time their commitment to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
changes
.
However
, the question: How do
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
should affect their children's
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
lives
? Is being a controversial issue nowadays. In this essay I am going to examine this phenomenon from several viewpoints?

On one side of the argument, there are
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
who argue that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
should
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
allow
their kids to take decisions lonely after 16 years
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
old
. The main reason for believing in this is that kids nowadays are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
Did you mean 'different "from"? 'Different than' is often considered colloquial style.
than
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
before
20 years and each generation is being more independent quicker than the previous one.
For example
, several
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
teenagers
finish their high school at the age of
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
16 and
they
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
be able to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
join
a university and act
independently
daily.
Furthermore
, the new technology is playing an
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
role in the kids'
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parent
relationship.

On the other hand
, it is
also
possible to consider it with the opposing case. It is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
often
argued that in fact
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
have an effective place in their children's opinions
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of their lack of experience and knowledge.
Moreover
, the new world is not safe for them to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
start
alone,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
they need support and advice all the time.
For instance
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
are
being connected
to their kids wherever they are, even if they are studying or working abroad through smart phones and devices.

In conclusion
, as we have
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
seen
there is no easy answer this question,
however
, I tend to believe that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
care will never
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
end
towards their children and it is a required one
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of its honesty and sincerity.
7.5Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7.5Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7.5Mistakes
With languages, you are at home anywhere.
Edward De Waal

IELTS essay TEACHERS SHOULD BE PAID ACCORDING TO HOW MUCH THEIR STUDENTS LEARN. Give specific reasons and examples to support your opinion v. 381

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
272 words
7.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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