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Do you agree or disagree with the following statement? The ability to maintain friendships with a small number of people over a long period of time is more important for happiness than the ability to make many new friends easily. Use specific reasons and e v.873

The ability to maintain friendships with a small number of people over a long period of time is more important for happiness than the ability to make many new friends easily. Use specific reasons and e v. 873
As social animals, we human beings rely on different kinds of relationships to gain happiness, and an important one is friendship. Some people are making new friends all the time, while others believe maintaining the existing friendships are more essential. As I see, I believe the latter one is more important for happiness. To begin with, making new friends can be a time- and energy-consuming activity. New friends don' t automatically come to your side and become friends with you, unless there' s something you can help them with, especially in adult world. You need to approach them actively and talk and talk and talk. This is usually how friendships are established, and this process takes energy and time. Some may argue that talking to new people might be an enjoyment for some people, I tend to believe that what they really enjoy is being not alone, which can be also achieved by keeping deep friendship with old friends. Secondly, if we think about how friendship turns into happiness, we could say that because friends can help us both emotionally and practically. However, this might only be the case when we talk about long-term friendships, rather than a short-term, superficial one. Imagine yourself being really upset because something unpleasant happened to you, who would you turn to for help? A friend who you just met yesterday at a party or one you' ve known for years? I believe most people would choose the latter option, for obvious reasons. For one thing, they know you better so are more likely to understand how you' re feeling; and for another, they are the ones who really care about you and. Being understood and cared, as I see, is what cheers you up when you' re down. Then let' s think about the practical issue. If you lost your wallet with all your money and cards in it, who would you borrow your money from? In most, if not all occasions, I suppose, you would ask an old friend rather than a new one. That is because you know they trust you more, thus are more likely to offer help to you. In contrast, people you just acquitted with might be worrying that you won' t ever pay them back. The trust, which takes time to establish, is another merit of long-term friendship in comparison with the short-term one. To sum up, as old friends are more likely to provide emotional as well as practical help for us, and doesn' t require extra time and energy, it is more likely to contribute to our happiness. Therefore, I believe that maintaining friendships with a few people for a long time is more important.
As social animals, we human beings rely on
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
kinds of relationships to gain happiness, and an
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
one is
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
friendship
.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
are making
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
new
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
friends
all the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
, while others
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
believe
maintaining the existing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
friendships
are more essential. As I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
see
, I
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
believe
the latter one is more
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
for happiness.

To
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
begin
with, making
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
new
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
friends
can be a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time-
and energy-consuming activity.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
New
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
friends
Possible spelling mistake found.
don&
#039; t
automatically
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
come
to your side and become
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
friends
with you, unless
Possible spelling mistake found.
there&
#039; s something you can
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
help
them with,
especially
in adult world. You need to approach them
actively
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
talk
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
talk
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
talk
. This is
usually
how
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
friendships
are established
, and this process takes energy and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
may
Possible agreement error - use third-person verb forms for singular and mass nouns: "argues".
argue
that talking to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
new
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
might be an enjoyment for
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
, I tend to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
believe
that what they
really
enjoy is being not alone, which can be
also
achieved by keeping deep
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
friendship
with
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
old
friends.

Secondly
, if we
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
about how
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
friendship
turns into happiness, we could say that
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
friends
can
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
help
us both
emotionally
and
practically
.
However
, this might
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
be the case when we
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
talk
about long-term
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
friendships
,
rather
than a short-term, superficial one. Imagine yourself being
really
upset
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
something unpleasant happened to you,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
who
would you turn to for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
help
? A
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
friend
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
who
you
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
met yesterday at a party or one
Possible spelling mistake found.
you&
#039; ve known for years? I
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
believe
most
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
would choose the latter option, for obvious reasons. For one thing, they know you better
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
are more
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
likely
to understand how
Possible spelling mistake found.
you&
#039; re feeling; and for another, they are the ones
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
who
really
care about you and.
Being understood
and cared, as I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
see
, is what cheers you up when
Possible spelling mistake found.
you&
#039; re down.

Then
Possible spelling mistake found.
let&
#039; s
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
about the practical issue. If you lost your wallet with all your money and cards in it,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
who
would you borrow your money from? In most, if not all occasions, I suppose, you would ask an
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
old
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
friend
rather
than a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
new
one.
That is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
you know they trust you more,
thus
are more
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
likely
to offer
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
help
to you.
In contrast
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
you
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
acquitted with might be worrying that you
Possible spelling mistake found.
won&
#039; t ever pay them back. The trust, which takes
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
to establish, is another merit of long-term
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
friendship
in comparison
with the short-term one.

To sum up, as
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
old
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
friends
are more
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
likely
to provide emotional
as well
as practical
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
help
for us, and
Possible spelling mistake found.
doesn&
#039; t require extra
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
and energy, it is more
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
likely
to contribute to our happiness.
Therefore
, I
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
believe
that maintaining
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
friendships
with a few
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
for a long
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
is more
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
.
15Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
55Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
9Mistakes

IELTS essay The ability to maintain friendships with a small number of people over a long period of time is more important for happiness than the ability to make many new friends easily. Use specific reasons and e v. 873

Essay
  American English
5 paragraphs
449 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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