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Too much traffic in britain as compared to 1980sPublic transport should be introduced and laws on ownership of private cars should be created. To what extent do you agree or disagree. v.1

Too much traffic in britain as compared to 1980sPublic transport should be introduced and laws on ownership of private cars should be created. v. 1
Entertainment is a part of human life. Millions of individuals, every day either watching theatre and playing sports to keep themselves fit and fine. Therefore, it is crucial to know whether a government should allocate funds for those recreation activities or not. Although some people ascertain that administrative primary responsibility to spend money only on education and medical facilities as basic needs, I believe that some portion of budgets should spend on art and sports both for educational and medical strength. Indeed, many children, who are involved in physical activities getting high scores because a sound mind lives in a sound body. Without games and entertainment, life becomes dull, which can affect the productive thinking of students. It is necessary to enhance the productivity of brains that can be achieved by sports and features According to a report of Human Resource Department India, 70% students are performing exceptionally well in academics because they are regularly participating in sports activities. Thus, Art and sport help to achieve the goal of the government to educate the public. Undoubtedly, happiness makes a person's health better. Many people are having pleasure whenever they watch a live drama in theatres or in a stadium they see their favourite players. Also, happiness not only saves them from many diseases, but also expands their lifespan. Arguably, a person who always feels delighted by arts and sports live 30% longer than who always lives a life without any recreational activities. Hence, it is required for the bureaucrats to allocate some funds for leisure activities, whereby the burden on healthcare systems could be reduced. In conclusion, art and sports both are equally pertinent as education and health system because all these activities are making a positive impact on human well beings. With the help of that administrative body can achieve their long-run targets of making aware and healthy citizens.
Entertainment is a part of human life. Millions of individuals, every day either watching
Possible spelling mistake. 'theatre' is British English.
theatre
and playing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sports
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
keep
themselves fit and fine.
Therefore
, it is crucial to know whether a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
should allocate funds for those recreation
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
activities
or not. Although
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
ascertain that administrative primary responsibility to spend money
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
on education and medical facilities as basic needs, I believe that
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
portion of budgets should spend on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
art
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sports
both for educational and medical strength.

Indeed
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
children, who
are involved
in physical
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
activities
getting high scores
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
a sound mind
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
lives
in a sound body. Without games and entertainment, life becomes dull, which can affect the productive thinking of students. It is necessary to enhance the productivity of brains that can
be achieved
by
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sports
and features According to a report of Human Resource Department India, 70% students are performing
exceptionally
well in academics
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
they are
regularly
participating in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sports
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
activities
.
Thus
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Art
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sport
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
to achieve the goal of the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
to educate the public.

Undoubtedly
, happiness
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
makes
a person's health better.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Many
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
are having pleasure whenever they
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
watch
a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
live
drama in
Possible spelling mistake. 'theatres' is British English.
theatres
or in a stadium they
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
see
their
Possible spelling mistake. 'favourite' is British English.
favourite
players.
Also
, happiness not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
saves them from
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
diseases,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
also
expands their lifespan.
Arguably
, a person who always feels delighted by
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
arts
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sports
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
live
30% longer than who always
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
lives
a life without any recreational
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
activities
.
Hence
, it
is required
for the bureaucrats to allocate
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
funds for leisure
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
activities
, whereby the burden on healthcare systems could be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
reduced
.

In conclusion
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
art
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sports
both are
equally
pertinent as education and health system
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
all these
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
activities
are making a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
positive
impact on human well beings. With the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
of that administrative body can achieve their long-run targets of making aware and healthy citizens.
7Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7Mistakes

IELTS essay Too much traffic in britain as compared to 1980sPublic transport should be introduced and laws on ownership of private cars should be created. v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
310 words
7
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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