Do you want to improve your writing? Try our new evaluation service and get detailed feedback.
Check Your Text it's free

The first car appeared on British roads in 1888. By the year 2000 there may be as many as 29 million vehicles on British roads. Alternative forms of transport should be encouraged and international laws introduced to control car ownership and use. To what extent do you agree or disagree? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your knowledge or experience. v.4

The first car appeared on British roads in 1888. By the year 2000 there may be as many as 29 million vehicles on British roads. Alternative forms of transport should be encouraged and international laws introduced to control car ownership and use. v. 4
Due to modernization and advancement in technology, the large proportion of vehicles, cars, has come into existence. However, this human progress has become a major culprit of environmental pollution. Therefore, some people think that higher authorities should impose certain laws and restrictions on the use of cars. In my view, I completely disagree with this statement. When it comes to transportation, the Incredible role of cars cannot be denied. In other words, cars are the most convenient mode of transportation and communication and it has also become the luxurious safest and private way of transportation, thereby, it is being prioritized by most people. Moreover, the time which is considered as a crucial factor, it can also be saved by these miracle vehicles. So, cars not only make people ride luxurious and enjoy full, but also make it most secure and private. However, having too many vehicles, cars, has become a significant cause of environmental deterioration by emitting Obnoxious gases in the environment such as CO2 and N2 and so on, which are the most common causes of various lethal diseases like cancers, respiratory diseases and so on. But it cannot be overlooked that these cars are playing the most remarkable role in the country and people progress through escalating communication and trade. Apart from this, it has also become a way of employment for many people in car manufacturing factories as a worker, car repairs, dealers and painters. Thus, I believe that despite imposing any kind of ban and restrictions on car owners and producers, the government and engineers should find alternatives to mitigate this pollution problem by introducing hydrogen, electric cars which are quite efficient than the petroleum and diesel-based cars. Conclusion of the above discussion is that although cars are becoming a mammoth issue for environment distortion, it also signs of evolution and human progress, which can not be restricted, because every single step against technology, could go against human progress, so, it needs to find alternatives.
Due to modernization and advancement in technology, the large proportion of vehicles,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cars
, has
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
come
into existence.
However
, this human
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
progress
has
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
become
a major culprit of environmental pollution.
Therefore
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
that higher authorities should impose certain laws and restrictions on the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cars
. In my view, I completely disagree with this statement.

When it
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
comes
to transportation, the Incredible role of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cars
cannot
be denied
.
In other words
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cars
are the most convenient mode of transportation and communication and it has
also
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
become
the luxurious safest and private way of transportation, thereby, it is
being prioritized
by most
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
.
Moreover
, the time which
is considered
as a crucial factor, it can
also
be saved
by these miracle vehicles.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
So
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cars
not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
ride luxurious and enjoy full,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
also
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
it most secure and private.

However
, having too
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
vehicles,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cars
, has
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
become
a significant cause of environmental deterioration by emitting Obnoxious gases in the environment such as CO2 and N2 and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
on, which are the most common causes of various lethal diseases like cancers, respiratory diseases and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
on.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
But
it cannot
be overlooked
that these
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cars
are playing the most remarkable role in the country and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
progress
through escalating communication and trade. Apart from this, it has
also
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
become
a way of employment for
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
car
manufacturing factories as a worker,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
car
repairs, dealers and painters.

Thus
, I believe that despite imposing any kind of ban and restrictions on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
car
owners and producers, the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
and engineers should find alternatives to mitigate this pollution problem by introducing hydrogen, electric
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cars
which are quite
Use "(efficient)" to make a comparison with this adjective.
efficient
than the petroleum and diesel-based cars.

Conclusion of the above discussion is that although
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cars
are becoming a mammoth issue for environment distortion, it
also
signs of evolution and human
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
progress
, which can not
be restricted
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
every single step against technology, could go against human
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
progress
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
, it needs to find alternatives.
16Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
25Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
1Mistakes
A new language is a new life.
Persian Proverb

IELTS essay The first car appeared on British roads in 1888. By the year 2000 there may be as many as 29 million vehicles on British roads. Alternative forms of transport should be encouraged and international laws introduced to control car ownership and use. v. 4

Essay
  American English
5 paragraphs
329 words
6
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
Similar posts


Recent posts