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1. Some people believe that a greater difference in age between parents and children is more beneficial than less of a difference. Do you think the advantages of a greater age difference outweigh the disadvantages? v.1

1. Some people believe that a greater difference in age between parents and children is more beneficial than less of a difference. Do you think the advantages of a greater age difference outweigh the disadvantages? v. 1
In today's generation, most of our lifestyle and living habitat are mainly depend upon science and modern technology. Due to this reason, some group of people imposes a future hope student to study a pivotal subject which is related to science and modern technology whereas some against this notion and encourages students to study their favourite subject with their own decision. So, the following paragraphs will discuss both views comprehensively. Although learning the advance and future benefits subject is best for every student to shine in their career, it doesn’t give any assurance and uninterested student will get hurt by doing this sort of force activity. This is happening because of misunderstanding of the truth fact and it causes considerable adverse impacts among active students. To illustrate with an example, the students in every corner of the world have their own thoughts and ideas to become whatever they might be, some parent wants to fulfil their dream with their children, so this cause a huge drawback on the future champion career. On the contrary, every parent gives a chance to their children to decide what he is going to study. By doing this, the adolescent will have confident about their future study and there is a kind of opportunity for them to decide their own travel path. Whether it may be right or wrong, they should probably put their cent percent effort to show their interest and a proof to the society with their glory. For instance, my cousin, who wants to study the information technology course due to the compulsion of his parents, he finally chose civil and now he is struggling to survive in his unaided career. If in case, his parents would have accepted his study plan, there would be very encouraging for him to shine and growth in his career and interest. In conclusion, although learning the future career subject will help us to survive in this society, without having interest there would be nothing to achieve the career. So, I disagree with the statement of compulsory to study science and technology, I personally believe instead of forcing students they should probably support the young pupil interest and encourage them with making their own decision.
In
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
today
's generation, most of our lifestyle and living habitat are
mainly
Consider using a past participle here: "depended".
depend
upon science and modern
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
technology
. Due to this reason,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
group of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
imposes a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
future
hope
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
student
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
study
a pivotal
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
subject
which
is related
to science and modern
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
technology
whereas
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
against this notion and encourages
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
study
their
Possible spelling mistake. 'favourite' is British English.
favourite
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
subject
with their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
decision.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
So
, the following paragraphs will discuss both views
comprehensively
.

Although learning the advance and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
future
benefits
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
subject
is best for every
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
student
to shine in their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
career
, it doesn’t give any assurance and uninterested
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
student
will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
hurt by doing this sort of force activity. This is happening
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of misunderstanding of the truth fact and it causes considerable adverse impacts among active
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
. To illustrate with an example, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
in every corner of the world have their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
thoughts and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
ideas
to become whatever they might be,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parent
wants to fulfil their dream with their children,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
this cause a huge drawback on the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
future
champion career.

On the contrary
, every
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parent
gives a chance to their children to decide what he is going to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
study
. By doing this, the adolescent will have confident about their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
future
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
study
and there is a kind of opportunity for them to decide their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
travel path. Whether it may be right or
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
wrong
, they should
probably
put their cent percent effort to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
show
their interest and a proof to the society with their glory.
For instance
, my cousin, who wants to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
study
the information
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
technology
course due to the compulsion of his
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
, he
finally
chose civil and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
now
he is struggling to survive in his unaided
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
career
. If in case, his
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
would have
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
accepted
his
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
study
plan, there would be
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
encouraging for him to shine and growth in his
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
career
and interest.

In conclusion
, although learning the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
future
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
career
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
subject
will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
us to survive in this society, without having interest there would be nothing to achieve the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
career
.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
So
, I disagree with the statement of compulsory to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
study
science and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
technology
, I
personally
believe
instead
of forcing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
they should
probably
support the young pupil interest and encourage them with making their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
decision.
7Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7Mistakes
A foreign language is like a frail, delicate muscle. If you do not use it, it weakens.
Jhumpa Lahiri

IELTS essay 1. Some people believe that a greater difference in age between parents and children is more beneficial than less of a difference. Do you think the advantages of a greater age difference outweigh the disadvantages? v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
369 words
7
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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