Do you want to improve your writing? Try our new evaluation service and get detailed feedback.
Check Your Text it's free

Too much money is spent looking after and repairing old buildings. We should knock down and build modern ones instead. Do you agree or disagree? v.1

Too much money is spent looking after and repairing old buildings. We should knock down and build modern ones instead. v. 1
There are a large number of money spent on maintaining old buildings. Some people think that it is pointless to look after them and we should replace them with modern buildings. I believe that it should depend on the value of buildings. It is clear that buildings which are too old to lose functions should be knocked down and build new ones. Because of peoples’ growing demands, some old buildings are abandoned. Besides, the structures of the abandoned buildings are usually not firm enough, not only the cost spent on repairing them is a waste but also the buildings endanger peoples’ lives. They should be knocked down to provide more space to other new buildings. New facilities and technologies, like lifts and air condition, can be used in modern architectures, which means the buildings can meet peoples growing demands. The buildings that have historic and artistic values should be protected. Some historic events happened in there, which make the buildings playing a crucial role in history. While buildings with artistic values can be used to improve peoples’ aesthetic appreciation. Both of them were properly be built by famous persons or local dwellers’ efforts. We should spend financial looking after and repairing them, make sure that they will be stable enough as significant landmarks. For example, the Leaning Tower of Pisa is no doubt to be a gorgeous architecture; what’s more, Galileo’s Free-Falling-Experiment happened in the tower. It is undeniable that we do our best to protect it. In conclusion, whether an old building should be knocked down or be maintained is depended on the its value in terms of art and history.
There are
Specify a number, remove phrase, or simply use "many" or "numerous"
a large number of
money spent on maintaining
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
old
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
buildings
.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
that it is pointless to look after
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
them and
we should replace them with modern
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
buildings
. I believe that it should depend on the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
value
of buildings.

It is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
clear
that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
buildings
which are too
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
old
to lose functions should
be knocked
down and build new ones.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Because
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
peoples’
growing demands,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
old
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
buildings
are abandoned
.
Besides
, the structures of the abandoned
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
buildings
are
usually
not firm
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
enough
, not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
the cost spent on repairing them is a waste
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
also
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
buildings
endanger
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
peoples’
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
lives
. They should
be knocked
down to provide more space to other new
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
buildings
. New facilities and technologies, like lifts and air condition, can be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
in modern architectures, which means the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
buildings
can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
meet
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
peoples
growing demands.

The
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
buildings
that have historic and artistic values should
be protected
.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
historic
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
events
happened in there, which
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
buildings
playing a crucial role in history.
“While” at the beginning of a sentence usually requires a 2nd clause. Maybe a comma, question or exclamation mark is missing, or the sentence is incomplete and should be joined with the following sentence.
While
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
buildings
with artistic values can be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improve
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
peoples’
aesthetic appreciation. Both of them were
properly
be built
by
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
famous
persons or local dwellers’ efforts. We should spend financial looking after and repairing them,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
sure that they will be stable
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
enough
as significant landmarks.
For example
, the Leaning Tower of Pisa is no doubt to be a gorgeous architecture; what’s more, Galileo’s Free-Falling-Experiment happened in the tower. It is undeniable that we do our best to protect it.

In conclusion
, whether an
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
old
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
building
should
be knocked
down or
be maintained
is depended
on the its
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
value
in terms of art and history.
6Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
23Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
4Mistakes

IELTS essay Too much money is spent looking after and repairing old buildings. We should knock down and build modern ones instead. v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
272 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
Similar posts


Recent posts