Do you want to improve your writing? Try our new evaluation service and get detailed feedback.
Check Your Text it's free

Too much money has been spent looking after and repairing old buildings. We should knock them down and build modern ones instead. To what extent do you agree or disagree? v.2

Too much money has been spent looking after and repairing old buildings. We should knock them down and build modern ones instead. v. 2
Presently, with the increasing in populaion the public is showing interest in constructing the new buildings. Besides, these people feels that they had to invest a lot of moneyin seeing and modifying a building. In this essay, I disagree with this viewpoint and suggest my opinion. Interestingly, people are interested in demolishing the ancient buildings and they want to construct a building with the modern facilities. While it may help them in achieving their goals, they were causing a huge damage to the environment. Moreover, they are also trying to destroy the memories, whereas these people are not inspiring their childern to know the value of the precious monuments. A research stated 90% of the parent's influenced their children to stay in a modern home. On the other hand, the cost of renovating a building is very cheap because of the advancements in the modern technology. So, the government, who are supporting for this idea, should try to reduce the tax. If a person had tried to implement the renovation, then they are aware of the eco-firendly methods. For instance, to construct a demolishing the old home, it costs two times more than the normal budget. In the conclusion, a likely reason why most of the people are willing to construct a new building by destroying an ancient construction because they were showing interest in the modern facilities. Though they may not only cost heavily, they were causing a huge damage to ecosystem. However, a plenty of memories are being shattered in destroying the area. I believe that it is not good for constructing a building by destroying the previous one.
Presently
, with the increasing in
Possible spelling mistake found.
populaion
the public is showing interest in constructing the new
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
buildings
.
Besides
, these
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
If 'people' is plural here, don't use the third-person singular verb.
feels
that they had to invest
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
a lot of
Possible spelling mistake found.
moneyin
seeing and modifying a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
building
. In this essay, I disagree with this viewpoint and suggest my opinion.

Interestingly
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
are interested
in demolishing the ancient
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
buildings and
they want to construct a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
building
with the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
modern
facilities. While it may
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
them in achieving their goals, they were causing
Uncountable nouns are usually not used with an indefinite article. Use simply "huge damage".
a huge damage
to the environment.
Moreover
, they are
also
trying to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
destroy
the memories, whereas these
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
are not inspiring their
Possible spelling mistake found.
childern
to know the value of the precious monuments.
Uncountable nouns are usually not used with an indefinite article. Use simply "research".
A research
stated 90% of the parent's influenced their children to stay in a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
modern
home.

On the other hand
, the cost of renovating a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
building
is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
cheap
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of the advancements in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
modern
technology.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
So
, the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
, who are supporting for this
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
idea
, should try to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
reduce
the tax. If a person had tried to implement the renovation, then they are aware of the eco-
firendly
methods.
For instance
, to construct a demolishing the
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
old
home, it costs two times more than the normal budget.

In the conclusion, a likely reason why most of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
are willing to construct a new
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
building
by destroying an ancient construction
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
they were showing interest in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
modern
facilities. Though they may not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
cost
heavily
, they were causing
Uncountable nouns are usually not used with an indefinite article. Use simply "huge damage".
a huge damage
to ecosystem.
However
, a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
plenty
of memories are
being shattered
in destroying the area. I believe that it is not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
for constructing a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
building
by destroying the previous one.
7Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
15Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
9Mistakes

IELTS essay Too much money has been spent looking after and repairing old buildings. We should knock them down and build modern ones instead. v. 2

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
271 words
6
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
Similar posts


Recent posts