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Too much money is spending on repairing old buildings instead of knocking down them and building new ones. To what extent do you agree or disagree? v.1

Too much money is spending on repairing old buildings instead of knocking down them and building new ones. v. 1
It is true that it costs enormous amount of money to preserve historical buildings rather than building modern premises. I disagree with this statement to large extent and I think that it is worthwhile to restore ancient monuments. To begin with the benefits of erecting new buildings as compared to protect old ones. Firstly, modern premises will be built according to the requirements of modern people and it will be comfortable for them to use for any purpose. For instance, school premise needs latest technology for modern education as nowadays technological gadgets are required to educate students so schools are built according to requirement of students and teachers so latest equipments can be installed and used. Secondly, modern buildings would be more secure and long lasting as these places are made with latest material and also latest equipments are installed for safety purposes like sound proof doors, gadgets to withstand with earthquake or storm. However, old monument may become the cause of threat for human life as some historical building are on extinction and these buildings should be demolished. Apart from this, there are many reasons why ancient building should be restored. As historical places are the identity and heritage of any country or city. If these building are demolished then history and culture of that region would die out and people cannot come to know about the past of people and region. By preserving these building individuals would feel connected to their ancestors and also theses buildings apprise new generation about the life of past people and the culture of that region. Moreover, historical monuments can bring the tourism in a particular city and government can make it source for revenue. For example, more touristors would visit these buildings and more they would spend, thus it leads to development of that city and country as it would increase job opportunities and would encourage people to start small business. In addition to this, authorities would make improvements to road system and transportations. Therefor, it is win-win situations for both individuals and government. In conclusion, although there are many advantages by constructing new buildings, to restore ancient monuments is more beneficial.
It is true that it costs enormous amount of money to preserve
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
historical
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
buildings
rather
than
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
building
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
modern
premises. I disagree with this statement to large extent and I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
that it is worthwhile to restore ancient monuments.

To
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
begin
with the benefits of erecting new
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
buildings
as compared to protect
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
old
ones.
Firstly
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
modern
premises will
be built
according to the requirements of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
modern
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
and it will be comfortable for them to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
for any purpose.
For instance
, school premise needs
A determiner is probably missing here: "the latest".
latest
technology for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
modern
education as nowadays technological gadgets
are required
to educate students
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
schools
are built
according to requirement of students and teachers
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
A determiner is probably missing here: "the latest".
latest
equipments can
be installed
and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
.
Secondly
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
modern
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
buildings
would be more secure and
This word is normally spelled with hyphen.
long lasting
as these places
are made
with
A determiner is probably missing here: "the latest".
latest
material and
also
A determiner is probably missing here: "the latest".
latest
equipments
are installed
for safety purposes like sound proof doors, gadgets to withstand with earthquake or storm.
However
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
old
monument may become the cause of threat for human life as
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
historical
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
building
are on extinction and these
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
buildings
should
be demolished
.

Apart from this, there are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
reasons why ancient
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
building
should
be restored
. As
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
historical
places are the identity and heritage of any country or city. If these
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
building
are demolished
then history and culture of that region would
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
die
out and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
cannot
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
come
to know about the past of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
and region. By preserving these
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
building
individuals would feel connected to their ancestors and
also
Did you mean "these"?
theses
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
buildings
apprise new generation about the life of past
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
and the culture of that region.
Moreover
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
historical
monuments can bring the tourism in a particular city and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
it source for revenue.
For example
, more
Possible spelling mistake found.
touristors
would visit these
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
buildings
and more they would spend,
thus
it leads to development of that city and country as it would increase job opportunities and would encourage
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
start
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
small
business.
In addition
to this, authorities would
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
improvements to road system and transportations. Therefor, it is win-win situations for both individuals and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
.

In conclusion
, although there are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
advantages by constructing new
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
buildings
, to restore ancient monuments is more beneficial.
13Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
26Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7Mistakes
You can never understand one language until you understand at least two.
Geoffrey Willans

IELTS essay Too much money is spending on repairing old buildings instead of knocking down them and building new ones. v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
360 words
6
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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