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A lot of money is spent on repairing old buildings Instead of repairing old buildings that money should be spent on knocking down old buildings and building new ones To what extent do you agree or disagree v.3

A lot of money is spent on repairing old buildings Instead of repairing old buildings that money should be spent on knocking down old buildings and building new ones v. 3
Nowadays, there is an argument that old buildings should be demolished, instead of spending money on repairing them. Construct new ones. I totally agree with the statement, build new ones instead of repairing them. Firstly, there are many buildings which are 100 to 150 years old, in many popular cities in the world. These buildings are always dangerous to stay. Because buildings may have already lost the capacity to hold to any natural calamities. For Instance, countries like Indonesia, earthquakes are quite common buildings might collapse at any time. Also, staying in such buildings may take their lives. Therefore, staying in such old buildings is always dangerous. Secondly, Investing the amount in repairing these buildings is totally a waste. Nowadays, labor wages, the raw material cost has gone high. Instead, people should spend money on constructing newer, by demolishing the older buildings. According to some recent surveys, 50% of the buildings in popular cities are more than 100 years old. The government should help people in identifying older buildings which are not safe to stay, help them to demolish at free of cost. Spending money in repairing is totally a waste, rather investing in constructing newer. To Conclude, I totally agree, staying in the older buildings is always dangerous, which may lead to loss of life. The government should help in identifying older buildings as well as, an easy way to demolish. Build a new house, stay safer.
Nowadays, there is an argument that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
old
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
buildings
should
be demolished
,
instead
of spending money on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
repairing
them. Construct new
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
ones
. I
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
totally
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
with the statement, build new
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
ones
instead
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
repairing
them.

Firstly
, there are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
buildings
which are 100 to 150 years
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
old
, in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
popular cities in the world. These
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
buildings
are always
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
dangerous
to stay.
“Because” at the beginning of a sentence usually requires a 2nd clause. Maybe a comma, question or exclamation mark is missing, or the sentence is incomplete and should be joined with the following sentence.
Because
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
buildings
may have already lost the capacity to hold to any natural calamities.
For Instance
, countries like Indonesia, earthquakes are quite common
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
buildings
might collapse at any time.
Also
, staying in such
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
buildings
may take their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
lives
.
Therefore
, staying in such
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
old
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
buildings
is always
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
dangerous
.

Secondly
, Investing the amount in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
repairing
these
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
buildings
is
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
totally
a waste. Nowadays, labor wages, the raw material cost has gone high.
Instead
,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
should spend money on constructing newer, by demolishing the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
older
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
buildings
. According to
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
recent surveys, 50% of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
buildings
in popular cities are more than 100 years
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
old
. The
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
should
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
in identifying
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
older
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
buildings
which are not safe to stay,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
them to demolish at free of cost. Spending money in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
repairing
is
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
totally
a waste,
rather
investing in constructing newer.

To Conclude
, I
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
totally
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
, staying in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
older
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
buildings
is always
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
dangerous
, which may lead to loss of life. The
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
should
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
in identifying
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
older
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
buildings
as well
as, an easy way to demolish. Build a new
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
house
, stay safer.
13Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
31Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
1Mistakes

IELTS essay A lot of money is spent on repairing old buildings Instead of repairing old buildings that money should be spent on knocking down old buildings and building new ones v. 3

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
238 words
This writing has been penalized,
text can't be
less than 250 words in Task 2
and less than 150 words in Task 1
5.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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