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A lot of money is spent on repairing old buildings, instead of repairing old buildings that money should be spent on knocking down old buildings and building new ones. To what extent do you agree and disagree? v.1

A lot of money is spent on repairing old buildings, instead of repairing old buildings that money should be spent on knocking down old buildings and building new ones. v. 1
One of the basic requirements for humans is shelter. Huge funds are paid to fixing ancient monuments. Instead of repairing them the same amount must be utilized for dismantling and then constructing a new one. I agree with this notion because brand new home comes with modern equipment and this shall have no maintenance for a certain period. To begin with, The first vital reason for agreeing with the thought of demolishing the old construction and using that amount to build a new architechture with latest amenities. Usually the old building was constructed approximately 20 years before, and the technology which was used in that era was being used. But now when you reuin the old concrete block and build It again. Definitely people will use modern gadget which shall provide more comfort. For instance, In UAE, All the Structure are destroyed and new building with unique architecture is built using sensor and remote technology. Hence you find unique concrete jungle. Furthermore, Another purpose of demolishing the Past building and utilizing the same amount for New designed building is because it has no maintenance for few years. When the new architectural design is made with up-to-date amenities, this will be guaranteed by the contractor for using quality of material which will strengthened the high rise for a certain period and it shall be guaranteed by them. Hence most landlords will benefit from not paying a single dollar to maintain it. for instance, As per a study it concluded, that building which is newly constructed do not require large maintenance for a tenor of 5 to 10 years and owner enjoy the comfort. In conclusion, Installing new gadgets and maintenance free are the two main cause for my agreement towards dismantling the old building and using the same amount for constructing a latest tower.
One of the basic requirements for humans is shelter. Huge funds
are paid
to fixing ancient monuments.
Instead
of repairing them the same
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
amount
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
be utilized
for dismantling and then constructing a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
new
one. I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
with this notion
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
brand
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
new
home
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
comes
with modern equipment and this shall have no
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
maintenance
for a certain period.

To
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
begin
with, The
first
vital reason for agreeing with the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
thought
of demolishing the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
old
construction and using that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
amount
to build a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
new
Possible spelling mistake found.
architechture
with
A determiner is probably missing here: "the latest".
latest
amenities.
Usually
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
old
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
building
was constructed
approximately 20 years
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
before
, and the technology which was
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
in that era was being
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
But
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
now
when you
Possible spelling mistake found.
reuin
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
old
concrete block and build It again. Definitely
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
modern gadget which shall provide more comfort.
For instance
, In UAE, All the Structure are
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
destroyed
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
new
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
building
with unique architecture
is built
using sensor and remote technology.
Did you forget a comma after a conjunctive/linking adverb?
Hence
you find unique concrete jungle.

Furthermore
, Another purpose of demolishing the Past
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
building
and utilizing the same
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
amount
for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
New
designed
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
building
is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
it has no
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
maintenance
for few years. When the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
new
architectural design
is made
with up-to-date amenities, this will
be guaranteed
by the contractor for using quality of material which will strengthened the high rise for a certain period and it shall
be guaranteed
by them.
Did you forget a comma after a conjunctive/linking adverb?
Hence
most landlords will benefit from not paying a single dollar to maintain it.
for instance
, As per a study
it concluded
, that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
building
which is
newly
constructed do not require large
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
maintenance
for a tenor of 5 to 10 years and owner enjoy the comfort.

In conclusion
, Installing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
new
gadgets and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
maintenance
free are the two main cause for my agreement towards dismantling the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
old
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
building
and using the same
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
amount
for constructing
Use "the" with the superlative.
a
latest tower.
11Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
25Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7Mistakes
The most intimate temper of a people, its deepest soul, is above all in its language.
Jules Michelet

IELTS essay A lot of money is spent on repairing old buildings, instead of repairing old buildings that money should be spent on knocking down old buildings and building new ones. v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
303 words
6
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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