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A lot of money is spent on repairing old buildings Instead of repairing old buildings that money should be spent on knocking down old buildings and building new ones To what extent do you agree or disagree v.2

A lot of money is spent on repairing old buildings Instead of repairing old buildings that money should be spent on knocking down old buildings and building new ones v. 2
Nowadays, many companies held their meeting and training on video calls or webcams, this has become the common global practice. While these types of get-together, have negatives, it also has positive outcomes. This essay will explain why the advantages of this practice are more developed and thought through that it overrides the disadvantages. This negative aspect of the meetings includes bad connectivity and power blockage. The video calling works because of the internet, to conclude such events online would require more power in the internet, if the internet is of a lower range there would be chances of bad connectivity and it would lead to not understanding the agenda or training. Secondly, most of the countries experience electric breakage, the electricity is blocked during that time and thus these reasons would also contribute towards not having a successful conference. The reason, because this online conventions has become popular across the world is because it has many benefits that support not only the organization but also the world. These webcam forums had people stop unnecessary travelling globally and locally, one can sit in his place, office or home and complete the meeting or the seminar. As a result, less travelling equals to a less polluted area. Secondly, organizations save a lot of money on these types of programs. They tend to buy a high power internet which enables employee to attend any conference in their comfortable spaces. If the workers are comfortable, there are chances of high productivity in that organization. Therefore, the positives of this program are more than its negatives. In conclusion, It has become a regular thing to have a conference and seminars on webcams because of the above reason mentioned. This essay explains how the advantages of the online get together outweighs the disadvantages.
Nowadays,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
companies
held their meeting and training on video calls or webcams, this has become the common global practice. While these types of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
-together, have negatives, it
also
has
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
positive
outcomes. This essay will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
explain
why the advantages of this practice are more developed and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
thought
through that it overrides the disadvantages.

This
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
aspect of the meetings includes
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
bad
connectivity and power blockage. The video calling works
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of the internet,
to conclude
such
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
events
online would require more power
The usual collocation for technology is "on," not "in." It is better to say this: "on the internet".
in the internet
, if the internet is of a lower range there would be chances of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
bad
connectivity and it would lead to not understanding the agenda or training.
Secondly
, most of the countries experience electric breakage, the electricity
is blocked
during that time and
thus
these reasons would
also
contribute towards not having a successful conference.

The reason,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
this online conventions has become popular across the world is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
it has
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
benefits that support not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
the organization
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
also
the world. These webcam forums had
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
stop
unnecessary travelling globally and
locally
, one can sit in his place, office or home and complete the meeting or the seminar.
As a result
, less travelling equals to a less polluted area.
Secondly
, organizations save
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
a lot of
money on these types of programs. They tend to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
buy
a high power internet which enables employee to attend any conference in their comfortable spaces. If the workers are comfortable, there are chances of high productivity in that organization.
Therefore
, the positives of this program are more than its negatives.

In conclusion
, It has become a regular thing to have a conference and seminars on webcams
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of the above reason mentioned. This essay
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
explains
how the advantages of the online
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
together outweighs the disadvantages.
7Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7Mistakes
Do you know what a foreign accent is? It’s a sign of bravery.
Amy Chua

IELTS essay A lot of money is spent on repairing old buildings Instead of repairing old buildings that money should be spent on knocking down old buildings and building new ones v. 2

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
297 words
7
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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