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Improvements in health, education and trade are essential for the development of poorer nations. However, the governments of richer nations should take more responsibility for helping the poorer nations in such areas. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this opinion? v.4

Improvements in health, education and trade are essential for the development of poorer nations. However, the governments of richer nations should take more responsibility for helping the poorer nations in such areas. with this opinion? v. 4
Education and health are fundamental factors for any nation. Research shows that the gap that exists between the level of education in rich and poor countries has a tendency to increase with the time. I completely agree that the governments of richer nations should step forward to help the poor nations to overcome the obstacles they face in areas like healthcare, education and trade. Education, health and trade are interconnected with each other and that is why an increase in educational level will very likely to affect both health and trade. Many industrial and rich countries have enough resources at their disposal in order to help poorer countries. Nowadays there are plenty organisations funded by prosperous countries, which focus on helping third world countries by sending workers and volunteers to the poorer nations in order to help the development. Many even grants medical equipment and other necessary goods. Another way how rich countries help is by giving loans for development. However many governments refuse to give a financial aid due to the high risk involved. But there is always a flip side of the coin and the government of such rich countries who help the poor nations should make sure that the fund they provide is utilised properly. Alternatively, they should take schemes like establishing schools, commercial places and hospitals in their authority rather than providing the fund to these poor nations. In conclusion, governments should unite and take more responsibility for providing help to poor countries. Otherwise, the gap between poor and rich countries will continue to grow exponentially.
Education and health are fundamental factors for any
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
nation
. Research
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
shows
that the gap that exists between the level of education in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
rich
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
poor
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
has a tendency to increase with the time. I completely
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
that the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
governments
of richer
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
nations
should step forward to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
help
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
poor
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
nations
to overcome the obstacles they face in areas like healthcare, education and trade.

Education, health and trade
are interconnected
with each other and
that is
why an increase in educational level will
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
likely to affect both health and trade.

This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Many
industrial and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
rich
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
have
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
enough
resources at their disposal in order to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
help
poorer
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
. Nowadays there are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
plenty
Possible spelling mistake. 'organisations' is British English.
organisations
funded by prosperous
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
, which focus on helping third world
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
by sending workers and volunteers to the poorer
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
nations
in order to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
help
the development.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Many
even grants medical equipment and other necessary
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
goods
. Another way how
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
rich
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
help
is by giving loans for development.
Did you forget a comma after a conjunctive/linking adverb?
However
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
governments
refuse to give a financial aid due to the high
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
risk
involved.

This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
But
there is always a flip side of the coin and the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
government
of such
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
rich
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
who
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
help
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
poor
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
nations
should
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
sure that the fund they provide is
Possible spelling mistake. 'utilised' is British English.
utilised
properly
.
Alternatively
, they should take schemes like establishing schools, commercial places and hospitals in their authority
rather
than providing the fund to these
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
poor
nations.

In conclusion
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
governments
should unite and take more responsibility for providing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
help
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
poor
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
.
Otherwise
, the gap between
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
poor
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
rich
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
will continue to grow
exponentially
.
6Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
35Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
3Mistakes
A man who knows two languages is worth two men.
French Proverb

IELTS essay Improvements in health, education and trade are essential for the development of poorer nations. However, the governments of richer nations should take more responsibility for helping the poorer nations in such areas. with this opinion? v. 4

Essay
  American English
5 paragraphs
260 words
6
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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