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In schools and universities, girls tend to choose arts while boys like science, what are the reasons for the trend, and do you think this tendency should be changed? v.1

In schools and universities, girls tend to choose arts while boys like science, what are the reasons for the trend, and do you think this tendency should be changed? v. 1
For higher Education, both male and female have different opinion in choosing their subjects. Mostly, girls prefer to study arts courses while male opt to practice science learning program. In my opinion, it is not necessary to transform this trend. In current education system, parents forced their children to enrol in their field of interest rather than a student make the own decision for himself/herself, but they should give them freedom of choice. More often, Female students like to choose art subject rather than science. Because, they attracted to do some creative and discipline things like home-economics, painting and language courses while male prefer to study technical and analytical course which helps them to flourish their future profession. Furthermore, both genders show distinct excellence on their own field and would give more attention to the subject in which they are good at. In my view, it is unnecessary to alter this tendency. Firstly, children should have the freedom to select the environment in which they would give excellent performances as well as develop their skills. therefore, if they are pushed to enrol in such programs in which they are not interested then as a result, it would produce negative outcomes Especially, resentment toward their education. In conclusion, gender competence enables both girls and boys to register themselves in preferable fields at school and universities in which they would flourish their passion.
For higher Education, both male and female have
different
opinion in choosing their subjects.
Mostly
, girls prefer to study arts courses while male opt to practice science learning program. In my opinion, it is not necessary to transform this trend.

In
current
education system, parents forced their children to enrol in their field of interest
rather
than a student
make
the
own
decision for himself/herself,
but
they should give them freedom of choice. More
often
, Female students like to choose art subject
rather
than science.
Because
, they attracted to do
some
creative and discipline things like home-economics, painting and language courses while male prefer to study technical and analytical course which
helps
them to flourish their future profession.
Furthermore
, both genders
show
distinct excellence on their
own
field and would give more attention to the subject in which they are
good
at.

In my view, it is unnecessary to alter this tendency.
Firstly
, children should have the freedom to select the environment in which they would give excellent performances
as well
as develop their
skills
.
therefore
, if they
are pushed
to enrol in such programs in which they are not interested then
as a result
, it would produce
negative
outcomes
Especially
, resentment toward their education.

In conclusion
, gender competence enables both girls and boys to register themselves in preferable fields at school and universities in which they would flourish their passion.
10Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
0Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
1Mistakes

IELTS essay In schools and universities, girls tend to choose arts while boys like science, what are the reasons for the trend, and do you think this tendency should be changed? v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
231 words
This writing has been penalized,
text can't be
less than 250 words in Task 2
and less than 150 words in Task 1
6
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
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    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 6.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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