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TOEFL Integrated speaking, question 4 - Using the example from the lecture, explain what behavior modification is and how it works. - Preparation Time: 30 SecondsResponse Time: 60 Seconds v.1

TOEFL Integrated speaking, question 4 - Using the example from the lecture, explain what behavior modification is and how it works. - Preparation Time: 30 SecondsResponse Time: 60 Seconds v. 1
Some people believe that small companies ought to avoid hiring females who do not have marrying yet, this trend can help them avoid paying for pregnancy leave in the future. In my view, I absolutely disagree with this idea owing to three main reasons that I will explain in this essay. Firstly, I would disagree that some firms do not use unmarried women because it leads to a form of discrimination. In modern society, for example, men and women are gender equality, and they have an opportunity in terms of seeking job positions are the same. Therefore, if some businesses hire young people based on whether they have their own family or not, then they can be sued because of causing gender inequality in society. Secondly, some laws in the world protect the right of women. Take Poland as an example, some companies can be penalized, if they tend to hire a person based on their gender rather than their educational backgrounds or their experiences. As a result, this trend can create lots of chances for women to find a job. Finally, small companies can be lost a big loss if they do not recruit women who do not have their own family. Another good example of this is that some women are geniuses such as Sabrina Pasterski from Chicago in America, she is a physical genius, and she has created a fight when she was 14. Therefore, this phenomenon could lead to lacking plenty of employees who have qualifications in the future. For the reasons mentioned above, I totally reject the view that small companies avoid hiring young women who do not have a private family to avoid paying a part of the financing for the pregnancy leave of women in the future.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
believe that
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
small
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
companies
ought to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
avoid
hiring females
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
who
do not have marrying
yet
, this trend can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
them
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
avoid
paying for pregnancy
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
leave
in the future. In my view, I
absolutely
disagree with this
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
idea
owing to three main reasons that I will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
explain
in this essay.

Firstly
, I would disagree that
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
firms do not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
unmarried
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
women
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
it leads to a form of discrimination. In modern society,
for example
,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
men
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
women
are gender equality, and they have an opportunity in terms of seeking job positions are the same.
Therefore
, if
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
businesses hire young
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
based on whether they have their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
family or not, then they can
be sued
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of causing gender inequality in society.

Secondly
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
laws in the world protect the right of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
women
. Take Poland as an example,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
companies
can
be penalized
, if they tend to hire a person based on their gender
rather
than their educational backgrounds or their experiences.
As a result
, this trend can create lots of chances for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
women
to find a job.

Finally
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
small
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
companies
can
be lost
a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
big
loss if they do not recruit
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
women
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
who
do not have their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
family. Another
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
example of this is that
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
women
are geniuses such as Sabrina
Possible spelling mistake found.
Pasterski
from Chicago in America, she is a physical genius, and she has created a fight when she was 14.
Therefore
, this phenomenon could lead to lacking
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
plenty
of employees
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
who
have qualifications in the future.

For the reasons mentioned above, I
totally
reject the view that
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
small
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
companies
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
avoid
hiring young
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
women
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
who
do not have a private family to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
avoid
paying a part of the financing for the pregnancy
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
leave
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
women
in the future.
7Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7Mistakes
The limits of my language mean the limits of my world.
Ludwig Wittgenstein

IELTS essay TOEFL Integrated speaking, question 4 - Using the example from the lecture, explain what behavior modification is and how it works. - Preparation Time: 30 SecondsResponse Time: 60 Seconds v. 1

Essay
  American English
5 paragraphs
294 words
7
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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