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TOEFL Integrated speaking, question 4 - Using the example discussed by the professor, explain what cognitive dissonance is and how people often deal with it - Preparation Time: 30 SecondsResponse Time: 60 Seconds v.1

TOEFL Integrated speaking, question 4 - Using the example discussed by the professor, explain what cognitive dissonance is and how people often deal with it - Preparation Time: 30 SecondsResponse Time: 60 Seconds v. 1
Whether the government’s capital should be allocated to the construction of railroads instead of regular roads is a question of controversy. Personally, I am in all agreement with this statement as for the following reasons. In the first place, it is advisable for the government to focus the capital resources on railway development over roads. Firstly, the rates of casualties among railroad accidents are dwarfed by that of roads. Annually, hundreds of deaths are reported which happen on hectic streets and chaotic roads, while it is rarely seen any of tragic accidents occurring on railways. Secondly, railroads are also capable of transporting tons of goods and a large number of items throughout a vast area of land at a very low cost of operation, which is completely opposite to road carrying. Cars or trucks can only carry a relatively small size of goods, which can be extremely costly since it takes several trucks to fulfil an order of delivery. On the other hand, having mentioned the benefits of paying more attention to railway systems, the government should implement some constructive schemes in order to enhance the quality of this sector. A top-worth considering approach is to erect new railing systems which run above regular roads in metropolises and strengthen currently existing ones. Hence, traffic congestion and accidents as well as the limitation of land for rail infrastructures would likely to be significantly alleviated. In addition, the government could also create proper training programmes for those who want to work and on-the-job training for proficient workers in this industry. This will considerably curb the rates of system failures or any operating damages happening along the way which would be handled by these proficient experts in no time, making railways become safer, more effective and more captivating than ever. In conclusion, the advantages of prioritizing railroads over roads are undoubtedly manifest. Therefore, it is for a better and brighter future to plan and develop strategies for this potential field.
“Whether” at the beginning of a sentence usually requires a 2nd clause. Maybe a comma, question or exclamation mark is missing, or the sentence is incomplete and should be joined with the following sentence.
Whether
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
government’s
capital should
be allocated
to the construction of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
railroads
instead
of regular
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
roads
is a question of controversy.
Personally
, I am in all agreement with this statement as for the following reasons.

In the
first
place, it is advisable for the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
government
to focus the capital resources on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
railway
development over
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
roads
.
Firstly
, the rates of casualties among
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
railroad
accidents
are dwarfed
by that of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
roads
.
Annually
, hundreds of deaths
are reported
which happen on hectic streets and chaotic
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
roads
, while it is rarely
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
seen
any of tragic accidents occurring on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
railways
.
Secondly
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
railroads
are
also
capable of transporting tons of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
goods
and
Specify a number, remove phrase, or simply use "many" or "numerous"
a large number of
items throughout a vast area of land at a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
low cost of operation, which is completely opposite to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
road
carrying. Cars or trucks can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
carry a
relatively
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
small
size of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
goods
, which can be
extremely
costly since it takes several trucks to fulfil an order of delivery.

On the other hand
, having mentioned the benefits of paying more attention to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
railway
systems, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
government
should implement
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
constructive schemes in order to enhance the quality of this sector. A top-worth considering approach is to erect new railing systems which run above regular
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
roads
in metropolises and strengthen
currently
existing ones.
Hence
, traffic congestion and accidents
as well
as the limitation of land for rail infrastructures would likely to be
significantly
alleviated.
In addition
, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
government
could
also
create proper training
Possible spelling mistake. 'programmes' is British English.
programmes
for those who want to work and on-the-job training for proficient workers in this industry. This will
considerably
curb the rates of system failures or any operating damages happening along the way which would
be handled
by these proficient experts in no time, making
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
railways
become safer, more effective and more captivating than ever.

In conclusion
, the advantages of prioritizing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
railroads
over
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
roads
are
undoubtedly
manifest.
Therefore
, it is for a better and brighter future to plan and develop strategies for this potential field.
7.5Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7.5Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7.5Mistakes

IELTS essay TOEFL Integrated speaking, question 4 - Using the example discussed by the professor, explain what cognitive dissonance is and how people often deal with it - Preparation Time: 30 SecondsResponse Time: 60 Seconds v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
327 words
7.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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