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Cognitive Dissonance Individuals sometimes experience a contradiction between their actions and their beliefs— between what they are doing and what they believe they should be done. These contradictions can cause a kind of mental discomfort known as cog v.1

Cognitive Dissonance Individuals sometimes experience a contradiction between their actions and their beliefs— between what they are doing and what they believe they should be done. These contradictions can cause a kind of mental discomfort known as cog v. 1
It is often argued that learning with teachers have more benefits that self-studying from sources like the internet or TV. I partly agree with this opinion and I believe that self-learning is also important as much as learning at school or university. The main advantage of learning by yourself is the opportunity to learn whatever you want regardless of your age. The internet is full of online content such as courses, tutorials, articles and many people of different ages learn from that in order to shift the occupation or extend their knowledge. And you get much more information on the online than at school or university. According to the statistics, more and more students opt to study online and I think this trend will be increasing in next years. Nevertheless, students at schools and universities can get a social contact with other people. In other words, students learn how to interact with tutors and other students. They become more social and interactive people and this is the major drawback of learning from the internet. For example, workers that have got through the universities are more competitive on the market than the employees who did not have such experience with learning at universities. To conclude, although I agree that schools are the important part of our career or study and we can learn a lot from there, I believe that online education should also be mentioned because it plays a significant role in the modern society and it might replace the current teaching system.
It is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
often
argued that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
learning
with teachers have more benefits that self-studying from sources like the internet or TV. I partly
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
with this opinion and I believe that self-learning is
also
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
as much as
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
learning
at
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
or university.

The main advantage of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
learning
by yourself is the opportunity to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
learn
whatever you want regardless of your age. The internet is full of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
online
content such as courses, tutorials, articles and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
of
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
ages
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
learn
from that in order to shift the occupation or extend their knowledge.

And you
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
much more information on the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
online
than at
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
or university. According to the statistics, more and more
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
opt to study
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
online
and I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
this trend will be increasing in
next
years.

Nevertheless
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
at
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
schools
and universities can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
a social contact with other
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
.
In other words
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
learn
how to interact with tutors and other
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
. They become more social and interactive
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
and this is the major drawback of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
learning
from the internet.
For example
, workers that have
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
got
through the universities are more competitive on the market than the employees who did not have such experience with
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
learning
at universities.

To conclude
, although I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
schools
are the
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
part of our career or
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
study and
we can
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
learn
a lot from there, I believe that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
online
education should
also
be mentioned
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
it plays a significant role in the modern society and it might replace the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
current
teaching system.
7Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7Mistakes

IELTS essay Cognitive Dissonance Individuals sometimes experience a contradiction between their actions and their beliefs— between what they are doing and what they believe they should be done. These contradictions can cause a kind of mental discomfort known as cog v. 1

Essay
  American English
5 paragraphs
253 words
7
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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