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Many people believe that zoos are cruel others believe that zoos are useful for protecting rare animals Discuss both views and give your opinion v.1

Many people believe that zoos are cruel others believe that zoos are useful for protecting rare animals 1
I It is argued that the most effective method to control the amount of increasing traffic as well as environmental issues is to increase the gasoline prices. I partially agree with this statement, however, I do not agree that it is the most effective way. Therefore, I would like to suggest some viable solutions as follows. Petrol is undeniably one of the key elements used in operating vehicles, which is sold at almost every corner of our planet. Thus, in order to curb the tremendous amount of traffic nowadays, it is advisable to raise the petroleum price. This will act as a demotivating factor, discouraging people from travelling much on roads as they will have to cover a large gasoline bill. Instead, people will find other convenient ways to commute such as walking, cycling or using public transport. These alternative approaches are much more cost-effective as well as environmentally-friendly. To be more exact, air pollution is mainly caused by the fumes released from moving vehicles. Hence, by using the above eco-friendly options, travellers can greatly contribute to the efforts of alleviating the current severity of pollution. On the other hand, many other effective methods should also be taken into consideration and implemented to reduce the pressing problems. First, the governments should pay close attention to enhancing the quality of public transport. In fact, a great number of people refuse to use them because of their substandard quality. Therefore, a noticeable improvement in these infrastructures will encourage people using them more frequently. Secondly, imposing a higher tax on vehicle purchases will also be beneficial, directly affecting to customers’ buying behaviours, making them buy less. Another feasible approach in the near future is to invent means of transport operated by renewable energies. All these suggested measures will significantly reduce the amount of traffic, subsequently, make the pollution-related problems less severe. To conclude, raising the gasoline price has proven to be advantageous to some extent in cutting down on traffic as well as mitigating pollution issues. However, there are at the same time other favourable ways to tackle these adversities.
I

It
is argued
that the most effective method to control the amount of increasing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
traffic
as well
as environmental issues is to increase the gasoline prices. I
partially
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
with this statement,
however
, I do not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
that it is the most effective way.
Therefore
, I would like to suggest
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
viable solutions as follows.

Petrol is
undeniably
one of the key elements
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
in operating vehicles, which
is sold
at almost every corner of our planet.
Thus
, in order to curb the tremendous amount of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
traffic
nowadays, it is advisable to raise the petroleum price. This will act as a demotivating factor, discouraging
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
from travelling much on roads as they will
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
cover a large gasoline bill.
Instead
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
will find
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
convenient ways to commute such as walking, cycling or using public transport. These alternative approaches are much more cost-effective
as well
as
environmentally
-friendly. To be more exact, air pollution is
mainly
caused by the fumes released from moving vehicles.
Hence
, by using the above eco-friendly options,
Possible spelling mistake found.
travellers
can
greatly
contribute to the efforts of alleviating the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
current
severity of pollution.

On the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
hand,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
effective methods should
also
be taken
into consideration and implemented to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
reduce
the pressing problems.
First
, the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
governments
should pay close attention to enhancing the quality of public transport. In fact, a great number of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
refuse to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
them
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of their substandard quality.
Therefore
, a noticeable improvement in these infrastructures will encourage
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
using them more
frequently
.
Secondly
, imposing a higher tax on vehicle
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
purchases
will
also
be beneficial,
directly
affecting to customers’ buying
Possible spelling mistake. 'behaviours' is British English.
behaviours
, making them
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
buy
less. Another feasible approach in the near future is to invent means of transport operated by renewable energies. All these suggested measures will
significantly
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
reduce
the amount of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
traffic
,
subsequently
,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
the pollution-related problems less severe.

To conclude
, raising the gasoline price has proven to be advantageous to
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
extent in cutting down on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
traffic
as well
as mitigating pollution issues.
However
, there are at the same time
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
Possible spelling mistake. 'favourable' is British English.
favourable
ways to tackle these adversities.
7.5Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7.5Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7.5Mistakes

IELTS essay Many people believe that zoos are cruel others believe that zoos are useful for protecting rare animals 1

Essay
  American English
5 paragraphs
347 words
7.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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