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Being a celebrity – such as famous film star sports personalities – brings problems as well as benefits. Do you think that being a celebrity brings more benefits or more problems. v.1

Being a celebrity – such as famous film star sports personalities – brings problems as well as benefits. Do you think that being a celebrity brings more benefits or more problems. v. 1
It is true to say that nowadays, some less-spoken languages in particular parts of the world are facing their extinctions. However, a number of people believe that this trend has no significant impacts on people’s daily life and even makes it more comfortable. I partially agree to this statement, though there are some drawbacks as will be discussed as follows. Undoubtedly, if there were only several dominant languages existing that are used and spoken by a majority of people in the world, there would be some real benefits arising along the way. Firstly, people would no longer have to struggle with learning languages. Since there are now hundreds of distinct languages with a variety of grammatical systems, pronunciations and so on, it is virtually impossible to master every single of them. Therefore, for example, if it would be only Latin-rooted languages left, learners would find it easier to become multilingual thanks to their similarities. Secondly, the language barrier might be greatly reduced and communicative impediments among people from different parts of the world would be alleviated. For instance, holiday makers, when visiting other countries, would be able to speak with the locals at ease because they would probably share a same language at the time. On the other hand, this trend can bring about a detrimental effect on cultural diversity and the economy of a nation. As each language represents for a unique culture, a loss in several languages would probably put an end to the long-established lifestyles of people who speak those languages. In addition, these unique features make a nation worth being visited. To be more exact, if some English non-speaking African countries suddenly ceased speaking their first languages and started using English instead, their lifestyles would change dramatically and likely turn into those similar to the American people. If this happened, visitor would no longer want to travel to these nations because of the lack of cultural distinctions. Hence, the tourism industry would be negatively affected, making the overall economy of these nations exacerbated. To conclude, it is controversial whether the disappearance of languages is totally beneficial. This trend has both positive and negative sides, which are not mutually exclusive.
It is true to say that nowadays,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
less-spoken
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
languages
in particular
parts of the world are facing their extinctions.
However
, a number of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
believe that this trend has no significant impacts on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people’s
daily life and even
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
makes
it more comfortable. I
partially
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
to this statement, though there are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
drawbacks as will
be discussed
as follows.

Undoubtedly
, if there were
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
several dominant
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
languages
existing that are
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
and spoken by a majority of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
in the world, there would be
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
real benefits arising along the way.
Firstly
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
would no longer
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
struggle with learning
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
languages
. Since there are
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
now
hundreds of distinct
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
languages
with a variety of grammatical systems, pronunciations and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
on, it is
virtually
impossible to master every single of them.
Therefore
,
for example
, if it would be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
Latin-rooted
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
languages
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
left
, learners would find it easier to become multilingual thanks to their similarities.
Secondly
, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
language
barrier might be
greatly
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
reduced
and communicative impediments among
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
from
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
parts of the world would
be alleviated
.
For instance
, holiday makers, when visiting other countries, would be able to speak with the locals at
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
ease
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
they would
probably
share a same
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
language
at the time.

On the other hand
, this trend can bring about a detrimental effect on cultural diversity and the economy of a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
nation
. As each
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
language
represents for a unique culture, a loss in several
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
languages
would
probably
put an
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
end
to the long-established lifestyles of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
who speak those
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
languages
.
In addition
, these unique features
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
nation
worth
being visited
. To be more exact, if
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
English non-speaking African countries
suddenly
ceased speaking their
first
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
languages
and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
started
using English
instead
, their lifestyles would
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
change
dramatically
and likely turn into those similar to the American
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
. If this happened, visitor would no longer want to travel to these
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
nations
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of the lack of cultural distinctions.
Hence
, the tourism industry would be
negatively
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
affected
, making the
overall
economy of these
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
nations
exacerbated.

To conclude
, it is controversial whether the disappearance of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
languages
is
totally
beneficial. This trend has both
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
positive
and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
sides, which are not
mutually
exclusive.
7.5Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7.5Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7.5Mistakes

IELTS essay Being a celebrity – such as famous film star sports personalities – brings problems as well as benefits. Do you think that being a celebrity brings more benefits or more problems. v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
363 words
7.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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