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TOEFL essay: Some people like to travel with a companion. Other people prefer to travel alone. Which do you prefer? Use specific reasons and examples to support your choice. v.2

TOEFL essay: Some people like to travel with a companion. Other people prefer to travel alone. Which do you prefer? Use specific reasons and examples to support your choice. v. 2
These days tourism is more accessible than ever, and everyone has their favorite travel style. Personally, I think it is a really wise idea to travel with a partner. I feel this way for two reasons, which I will explore in the following essay. First of all, going on a trip with a companion is more economical than vacationing alone. As a result of leisure travel becoming more and more popular, hotel operators have raised their prices to astronomical levels. Discounts for solo travelers are fairly uncommon nowadays, so sharing a room with a friend is an effective way to cut costs. Not only that, but people traveling in pairs have better access to package deals on tours, entrance fees and other activities. My own experience is compelling evidence of this. When my girlfriend and I traveled together through Peru last year, we were able to rent an entire hotel room for less than the cost of two separate beds in a shared dorm. Over the course of our month-long trip, we saved several hundred dollars in this way. Because we saved so much money, we were able to change our plans and extend our trip for almost an entire week. Had we not taken the trip together, we would not have been able to do that. Moreover, it is much easier to talk to local people when traveling in a pair, and this makes a trip much more rewarding. While a lone stranger can be seen as intimidating, a traveling couple is often considered more approachable. For instance, when my girlfriend and I took the trip to South America that I mentioned above, we were often welcomed into people’s homes and businesses with open arms. The individuals who invited us often pointed out that they were willing to do so because we looked so happy, friendly and cheerful spending time together. In contrast, when I visited Bolivia by myself the previous year, I wanted to make the same kinds of connections, but it was almost impossible to achieve my goal. It is true that a solitary traveler may actually be quite kind and outgoing, this can be somewhat difficult to determine from a distance. In conclusion, I definitely prefer to travel with a companion rather than alone. This is because there are significant financial benefits of doing so, and because traveling with a partner makes it easy to interact with strangers
These
Apostrophe might be missing. Did you mean "days'" or "day's"?
days
tourism is more accessible than ever, and everyone has their favorite
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
travel
style.
Personally
, I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
it is a
really
wise
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
idea
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
travel
with a partner. I feel this way for two reasons, which I will explore in the following essay.

This phrase is redundant. Consider using "first".
First of all
, going on a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
trip
with a companion is more economical than vacationing alone.
As a result
of leisure
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
travel
becoming more and more popular, hotel operators have raised their prices to astronomical levels. Discounts for solo travelers are
fairly
uncommon nowadays,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
sharing a room with a friend is an effective way to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
cut
costs. Not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
that,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
traveling in pairs have better access to package deals on tours, entrance fees and other activities. My
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
experience is compelling evidence of this. When my girlfriend and I traveled together through Peru last year, we were able to rent an entire hotel room for less than the cost of two separate beds in a shared dorm. Over the course of our month-long
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
trip
, we saved several hundred dollars in this way.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Because
we saved
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
much money, we were able to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
change
our plans and extend our
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
trip
for almost an entire week. Had we not taken the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
trip
together, we would not have been able to do that.

Moreover
, it is much easier to talk to local
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
when traveling in a pair, and this
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
makes
a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
trip
much more rewarding. While a lone stranger can be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
seen
as intimidating, a traveling couple is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
often
considered more approachable.
For instance
, when my girlfriend and I took the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
trip
to South America that I mentioned above, we were
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
often
welcomed into
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
’s homes and businesses with open arms. The individuals who invited us
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
often
pointed out that they were willing to do
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
we looked
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
happy, friendly and cheerful spending time together.
In contrast
, when I visited Bolivia by myself the previous year, I wanted to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
the same kinds of connections,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
it was almost impossible to achieve my goal. It is true that a solitary traveler may actually be quite kind and outgoing, this can be somewhat difficult to determine from a distance.

In conclusion
, I definitely prefer to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
travel
with a companion
rather
than alone. This is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
there are significant financial benefits of doing
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
, and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
traveling with a partner
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
makes
it easy to interact with
Please add a punctuation mark at the end of paragraph
strangers
8Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
10Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
3Mistakes
A man who knows two languages is worth two men.
French Proverb

IELTS essay TOEFL essay: Some people like to travel with a companion. Other people prefer to travel alone. Which do you prefer? Use specific reasons and examples to support your choice. v. 2

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
401 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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