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4 fatherhood ought to be emphasized as much as motherhood. The idea that women are solely responsible for deciding whether or not to have leads on to the idea that thay are also responsible for briging the children up. v.2

4 fatherhood ought to be emphasized as much as motherhood. The idea that women are solely responsible for deciding whether or not to have leads on to the idea that thay are also responsible for briging the children up. v. 2
There are people who believe that women are solely responsible for deciding regardless have babies leads on to the issue that they are also responsible for growing them up. Beside how we ought to be emphasized between fatherhood and motherhood. This essay will be explicitly analyzed about this problem. Firstly, nobody does not know that one born baby is the sequence of breeding between one man and one woman. According to the medical term, when a sperm of man has a connection with egg in woman will be create a very first cell of a new baby. As a result, a baby have chracterzses of parent, thus, it is certainly unreasonable women are not solely responsible for determining whether or not to have babies. More importantly, the responsible for bringing the children up is both from mother and father. For example, fatherless or motherless child will be not becoming a greatest man if they lack of the illustration from one of father and mother. A fatherless child always aspirate a family, where there are father and teach how to be brave and strong in the enormous challengable life. At the same time a motherless child perhaps could not to behaviour softly and have a sensibility inside. Moreover, a fatherhood and motherhood is deserved the same place in the responsibility for bringing a child up and child’s memories. We made conclude, in spite of one baby has a great co-ordination with a woman from pregnancy period but this is very necessary both of mother and father to growing up a person has benefit for society.
There are
people
who believe that women are
solely
responsible
for deciding regardless have
babies
leads on to the issue that they are
also
responsible
for growing them up. Beside how we ought to
be emphasized
between fatherhood and motherhood. This essay will be
explicitly
analyzed about this problem.

Firstly
, nobody does not know that one born baby is the sequence of breeding between one
man
and one woman. According to the medical term, when a sperm of
man
has
a connection with egg in woman will be
create
a
very
first
cell of a new baby.
As a result
, a baby have
chracterzses
of parent,
thus
, it is
certainly
unreasonable women are not
solely
responsible
for determining
whether or not
to have babies.

More
importantly
, the
responsible
for bringing the children up is both from mother and
father
.
For example
, fatherless or motherless
child
will be not becoming
a
greatest
man
if they lack of the illustration from one of
father
and mother. A fatherless
child
always aspirate a family, where there are
father
and teach how to be brave and strong in the enormous
challengable
life. At the same time a motherless
child
perhaps could not to
behaviour
softly
and have a sensibility inside.
Moreover
, a fatherhood and motherhood
is deserved
the same place in the responsibility for bringing a
child
up and
child’s
memories.

We made conclude,
in spite of
one baby has a great co-ordination with a woman from pregnancy period
but
this is
very
necessary both of mother and
father
to growing up a person has benefit for society.
7Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
14Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
8Mistakes

IELTS essay 4 fatherhood ought to be emphasized as much as motherhood. The idea that women are solely responsible for deciding whether or not to have leads on to the idea that thay are also responsible for briging the children up. v. 2

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
264 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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