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People remember special gifts or presents that they receive. Why? Use specific reasons and examples to support your answer. v.1

People remember special gifts or presents that they receive. Why? Use specific reasons and examples to support your answer. v. 1
Stress is a problem that can have detrimental effects on many people’s lives, and there are various factors in modern society responsible for this. However, there are ways to limit the potential impacts. The modern world we live in today presents us with many issues that we did not have to cope with in the past. Firstly, there are issues of terrorism that we are constantly confronted with in the media. Whether these are real or not, we are led to believe our lives are in constant danger, be it flying on a plane or travelling on public transport. Climate change is another worry that everyone has to face. The results of a significant rise in temperatures could radically affect our ways of life, and our children’s too. There are also more health issues to be concerned about than in the past, with rises in Alzheimer’s, diabetes, and stroke to name but a few. All of these concerns can result in stress. Tackling such problems will not be easy, but there are measures that can be taken. Governments and the media could play their part in ensuring that instead of persistently bombarding us with such negative images and information about the world in which we live, we are given more positive stories too. However, given this is unlikely to happen, we need to develop our own strategies to distract us from these influences. Of course exercising regularly is one thing we should do as this has been shown to increase endorphin levels and lead to feelings of happiness. Sleeping enough helps us to recuperate and restore our body. Finally, eating properly can improve our health and results in less worry about potential diseases. All in all, although there are many factors around us today which lead to stress, we can take steps to reduce it. Given that the strains we face in modern society will likely
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
Stress
is a problem that can have detrimental effects on
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
’s
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
lives
, and there are various factors in modern society responsible for this.
However
, there are ways to limit the potential impacts.

The modern world we
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
live
in
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
today
presents us with
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
issues that we did not
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
cope with in the past.
Firstly
, there are issues of terrorism that we are
constantly
confronted with in the media. Whether these are real or not, we
are led
to believe our
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
lives
are in constant
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
danger
, be it flying on a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
plane
or travelling on public transport. Climate
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
change
is another worry that everyone
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
has to
face. The results of a significant rise in temperatures could
radically
affect our ways of life, and our children’s too. There are
also
more health issues to
be concerned
about than in the past, with rises in Alzheimer’s, diabetes, and stroke to name
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
a few. All of these concerns can result in
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
stress
.

Tackling such problems will not be easy,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
there are measures that can
be taken
.
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
Governments
and the media could play their part in ensuring that
instead
of
persistently
bombarding us with such
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
images and information about the world in which we
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
live
, we are
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
given
more
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
positive
stories too.
However
,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
given
this is unlikely to happen, we need to develop our
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
strategies to distract us from these influences.
Of course
exercising
regularly
is one thing we should do as this has
been shown
to increase endorphin levels and lead to feelings of happiness. Sleeping
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
enough
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
helps
us to recuperate and restore our body.

Finally
, eating
properly
can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improve
our health and results in less worry about potential diseases.

All in all, although there are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
factors around us
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
today
which lead to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
stress
, we can take steps to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
reduce
it.
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
Given
that the strains we face in modern society will
Please add a punctuation mark at the end of paragraph
likely
7Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7Mistakes
Speak a new language so that the world will be a new world.
Rumi

IELTS essay People remember special gifts or presents that they receive. Why? Use specific reasons and examples to support your answer. v. 1

Essay
  American English
5 paragraphs
315 words
7
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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