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Today's teenagers have more stressful lives than previous generations. Discuss this view and give your own opinion. v.2

Today's teenagers have more stressful lives than previous generations. Discuss this view and give your own opinion. v. 2
Adolescents nowadays face more challenges and stress than teenagers who lived in the past centuries. There are various reasons causing this, such as the busy lives they lead, the pressure that is put on them, and living in a consumeristic society. I fully agree with this view as I believe young people are highly stressed nowadays as compared to the past. One of the major contributions to adolescents’ stress is the fast-paced life that we are all living. People in the past lived slower lives as compared to today, leading to lower levels of stress. Teenagers are supposed to go to school, do their homework, study for their exams, excel academically, and participate in various activities. In addition to the aforementioned tasks, they are also required to socialize with their peers and even work part-time or volunteer to gain experience. All of these are factors that lead to high levels of stress and even mental health problems. For instance, introverted teenagers find it quite daunting to lead such a life since they crave downtime. Moreover, living in a consumeristic society has negative consequences on adolescents as well. The countless choices that exist in the marketplace nowadays put extra pressure on young people. They have to spend more time thinking about what to buy as compared to previous generations. This can be exemplified by a teenager who wants to buy a laptop and has to spend days or even weeks to decide which model to buy due to the endless models and specifications available. To conclude, young people who live nowadays are faced with multiple challenges leading to increased stress levels as opposed to previous generations. The busy lives they lead in addition to the plethora of choices that surround them are only some factors that affect them adversely.
Adolescents
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
nowadays
face more challenges and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
stress
than
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
teenagers
who
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
lived
in the past centuries. There are various reasons causing this, such as the busy
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
lives
they
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
lead
, the pressure that
is put
on them, and living in a
Possible spelling mistake found.
consumeristic
society. I
fully
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
with this view as I believe young
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
are
highly
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
stressed
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
nowadays
as compared to the past.

One of the major contributions to adolescents’
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
stress
is the
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
fast
-paced life that we are all living.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
People
in the past
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
lived
slower
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
lives
as compared to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
today
, leading to lower levels of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
stress
.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Teenagers
are supposed
to go to school, do their homework, study for their exams, excel
academically
, and participate in various activities.
In addition
to the aforementioned tasks, they are
also
required to socialize with their peers and even work part-time or volunteer to gain experience. All of these are factors that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
lead
to high levels of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
stress
and even mental health problems.
For instance
, introverted
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
teenagers
find it quite daunting to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
lead
such a life since they crave downtime.

Moreover
, living in a
Possible spelling mistake found.
consumeristic
society has
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
consequences on adolescents
as well
. The countless choices that exist in the marketplace
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
nowadays
put extra pressure on young
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
. They
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
spend more time thinking about what to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
buy
as compared to previous generations. This can
be exemplified
by a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
teenager
who wants to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
buy
a laptop and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
has to
spend days or even weeks to decide which model to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
buy
due to the endless models and specifications available.

To conclude
, young
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
who
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
live
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
nowadays
are faced
with multiple challenges leading to increased
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
stress
levels as opposed to previous generations. The busy
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
lives
they
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
lead
in addition
to the plethora of choices that surround them are
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
factors that affect them
adversely
.
9Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
25Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
2Mistakes
Language is the blood of the soul into which thoughts run and out of which they grow.
Oliver Wendell Holmes

IELTS essay Today's teenagers have more stressful lives than previous generations. Discuss this view and give your own opinion. v. 2

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
298 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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