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Some parents buy their children a large number of toys to play with. What are the advantages and disadvantages for the child of having a large number of toys? v.12

Some parents buy their children a large number of toys to play with. What are the advantages and disadvantages for the child of having a large number of toys? v. 12
The contentious argument that whether parents should buy plenty of playthings for their kids or not ignites a heated debate among many segments of the society. In order to cultivate intellectual development in a child, parents bought them the toys so that they can play with them and learn problem solving skills. In this essay, I will illustrate both merits and demerits of buying plenty of toys for the young once. On one hand, there are humongous benefits of playing with toys. They tend to pace up cognitive development and make it more effective at an earlier age. The best toys engage children sense, spark imagination and enhance their physiological developments. For example, Lego blocks help off springs to learn basic alphabets and even numbers before they go to school. Various computer games and puzzles are meant to nurture mental abilities of the kids. On the other hand, there are some disadvantages as well. The main peril is that children became introvert. They create their own virtual world where they kept themselves busy and isolates from the family, peers and the rest of the world. This behaviour has incessant deteriorating impacts on their social life and creates confidence and communication deficiencies. Furthermore, a wide verity of toys grows them greedy and develops conformist mentality in them so they require more and more toys at any cost before they could properly utilize the old once. After considering the range of arguments, one can see that there are both pros and cons of spending large sums of money on having an enormous amount of toys for toddlers, but in my opinion the pros simple out weight’s the cons.
The contentious argument that whether parents should
buy
plenty
of playthings for their kids or not ignites a heated debate among
many
segments of the society. In order to cultivate intellectual development in a child, parents
bought
them the
toys
so
that they can play with them and learn problem solving
skills
. In this essay, I will illustrate both merits and demerits of buying
plenty
of
toys
for the young once.

On one hand, there are humongous benefits of playing with
toys
. They tend to pace up cognitive development and
make
it more effective at an earlier age. The best
toys
engage children sense, spark imagination and enhance their physiological developments.
For example
, Lego blocks
help
off springs to learn basic alphabets and even numbers
before
they go to school. Various computer games and puzzles
are meant
to nurture mental abilities of the kids.

On the other hand
, there are
some
disadvantages
as well
. The main peril is that children became introvert. They create their
own
virtual world where they
kept
themselves busy and isolates from the family, peers and the rest of the world. This
behaviour
has incessant deteriorating impacts on their social life and creates confidence and communication deficiencies.
Furthermore
, a wide verity of
toys
grows them greedy and develops conformist mentality in them
so
they require more and more
toys
at any cost
before
they could
properly
utilize the
old
once.

After considering the range of arguments, one can
see
that there are both pros and cons of spending large sums of money on having an enormous amount of
toys
for toddlers,
but
in my opinion the pros simple out weight’s the cons.
4Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
2Mistakes

IELTS essay Some parents buy their children a large number of toys to play with. What are the advantages and disadvantages for the child of having a large number of toys? v. 12

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
276 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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