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Today's teenagers have more stressful lives than previous generations. Discuss this view and give your own opinion. v.5

Today's teenagers have more stressful lives than previous generations. Discuss this view and give your own opinion. v. 5
Despite a continuing improvement in standard of living, many people believe that young people suffer more stress than older generations. In this essay, the arguments surrounding the issue of teenage stress will be discussed. Firstly, teenagers are exposed to more products than earlier generations as a result of living in a modern consumer society. Through films and the media, they see celebrities with expensive jewellery, clothes and cars. In addition, youth-oriented advertising gives them an awareness of the latest technology such as digital music formats and mobile phones. Consequently, teenagers feel pressure to acquire these items. Some might argue that these pressures are not new. However, I believe that such stresses were not so strong during earlier times. It could also be argued that pressures at school are stronger than before. In order to achieve the lifestyle they see in the media, teenagers must succeed in their studies so they can compete for the best jobs. Parental pressure, examinations and homework are all reported as causing increased levels of strain. On the other hand, although it may be true to say that modern society produces certain stresses it does not necessarily mean that stress was previously absent. In earlier times, hunger and physical discomfort would undoubtedly have caused high levels of anxiety, as would hard physical labour, for example, working down a mine. Any balanced view must take into account these alternative factors. To sum up, consumerism and academic pressures are powerful causes of stress on today's teenagers. Nevertheless, it is my view that these stresses are no greater than those experienced by earlier generations of teenagers.
Despite a continuing improvement in standard of living,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
believe that young
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
suffer more
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
stress
than older generations. In this essay, the arguments surrounding the issue of teenage
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
stress
will
be discussed
.

Firstly
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
teenagers
are exposed
to more products than
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
earlier
generations
as a result
of living in a modern consumer society. Through films and the media, they
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
see
celebrities with expensive
Possible spelling mistake. 'jewellery' is British English.
jewellery
, clothes and cars.
In addition
, youth-oriented advertising gives them an awareness of the latest technology such as digital music formats and mobile phones.
Consequently
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
teenagers
feel
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
pressure
to acquire these items.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
might argue that these
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
pressures
are not new.
However
, I believe that such
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
stresses
were not
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
strong during
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
earlier
times.

It could
also
be argued
that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
pressures
at school are stronger than
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
before
. In order to achieve the lifestyle they
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
see
in the media,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
teenagers
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
succeed in their studies
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
they can compete for the best jobs. Parental
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
pressure
, examinations and homework are all reported as causing increased levels of strain.

On the other hand
, although it may be true to say that modern society produces certain
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
stresses
it does not
necessarily
mean that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
stress
was previously absent. In
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
earlier
times, hunger and physical discomfort would
undoubtedly
have caused high levels of anxiety, as would
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
hard
physical
Possible spelling mistake. 'labour' is British English.
labour
,
for example
, working down a mine. Any balanced view
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
take into account these alternative factors.

To sum up, consumerism and academic
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
pressures
are powerful causes of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
stress
on
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
today
's
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
teenagers
.
Nevertheless
, it is my view that these
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
stresses
are no greater than those experienced by
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
earlier
generations of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
teenagers
.
8Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
8Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
8Mistakes
Language is not a genetic gift, it is a social gift. Learning a new language is becoming a member of the club – the community of speakers of that language.
Frank Smith

IELTS essay Today's teenagers have more stressful lives than previous generations. Discuss this view and give your own opinion. v. 5

Essay
  American English
5 paragraphs
267 words
8
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 8.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 8.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 8.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 8.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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