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Today TV channels provide men s sport shows more than women s sports shows Why Should TV channels give equal time for women s sport and men s sport v.2

Today TV channels provide men s sport shows more than women s sports shows Why Should TV channels give equal time for women s sport and men s sport v. 2
It is true that there are fewer females’ sports shows than males’ sports programs shown on television. There are some reasons why this is the case and it is not necessarily that Television channels need to give equal time for both of these programs. There are several reasons why fewer sports shows for women are produced compared to those of men. The foremost reason is that in practical, there is a wide range of sport activities for men taken place, which the television stations could film and present it on screens. For example, in Viet Nam, males’ football matches are held on a monthly basis in metropolises like Ho Chi Minh city. In fact, on account of their innate characteristics, men can participate on a variety of competition ranging from average sports such as swimming, football, tennis to extreme sports like sky_diving or bungee jumping. In addition, if men’s sport shows are broadcast on television, there will be a huge number of viewers watching them including females. This can be explained by the fact that in those games men players perform so brilliantly that they can appeal anyone regardless of his or her gender. In my view, it is not necessary to increase much more time for women’s sport shows on TV channels. Instead, they should focus on other females’ programs such as fashion, cooking or family, which could make women become their loyal audience. Because of the gender difference, females pay more interests on these hobbies than sports, it does not means that the high number of females’ sport shows can meet their demand for entertaining. Indeed, there is a saying that quality is better than quantity. Other than that, men’s sport programs at the same attract women especially when male players appear in tournaments as heroes. Therefore, it seems to me that men’s sport shows could also cater for both male and female audiences. In conclusion, there are some causes why men’s sport shows dominate on TV programs. Nevertheless, Television stations should not necessarily increase women’s sport shows.
It is true that there are fewer
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
females’
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sports
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
shows
than
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
males’
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sports
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
programs
shown on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
television
. There are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
reasons why this is the case and it is not
necessarily
that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Television
channels need to give equal time for both of these programs.

There are several reasons why fewer
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sports
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
shows
for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
women
are produced
compared to those of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
men
. The foremost reason is that in practical, there is a wide range of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sport
activities for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
men
taken place, which the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
television
stations could film and present it on screens.
For example
, in
Possible spelling mistake found.
Viet
Nam,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
males’
football matches
are held
on a monthly basis in metropolises like
If the term is a proper noun, use initial capitals.
Ho Chi Minh city
. In fact, on account of their innate characteristics,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
men
can participate on a variety of competition ranging from average
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sports
such as swimming, football, tennis to extreme
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sports
like
In standard English, a word does not contain an underscore character (_). Make sure that the word 'sky _ diving' is correct.
sky_diving
or bungee jumping.
In addition
, if
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
men’s
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sport
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
shows
are broadcast on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
television
, there will be a huge number of viewers watching them including
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
females
. This can be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
explained
by the fact that in those games
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
men
players perform
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
brilliantly
that they can appeal anyone regardless of
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
his or her
gender.

In my view, it is not necessary to increase much more time for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
women’s
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sport
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
shows
on TV channels.
Instead
, they should focus on other
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
females’
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
programs
such as fashion, cooking or family, which could
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
women
become their loyal audience.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Because
of the gender difference,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
females
pay more interests on these hobbies than
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sports
, it does not
The verb 'does' requires base form of the verb: "mean"
means
that the high number of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
females’
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sport
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
shows
can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
meet
their demand for entertaining.
Indeed
, there is a saying that quality is better than quantity. Other than that,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
men’s
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sport
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
programs
at the same attract
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
women
especially
when male players appear in tournaments as heroes.
Therefore
, it seems to me that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
men’s
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sport
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
shows
could
also
cater for both male and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
female
audiences.

In conclusion
, there are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
causes why
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
men’s
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sport
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
shows
dominate on TV
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
programs
.
Nevertheless
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Television
stations should not
necessarily
increase
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
women’s
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sport
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
shows
.
10Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
52Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
4Mistakes

IELTS essay Today TV channels provide men s sport shows more than women s sports shows Why Should TV channels give equal time for women s sport and men s sport v. 2

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
340 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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