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In some countries the number of people who visit art galleries is declining What are the reasons for this What can be done to solve this situation v.2

In some countries the number of people who visit art galleries is declining What are the reasons for this What can be done to solve this situation v. 2
In modern society, visitation of art museums is decreasing. This is because people are not interested of visiting art exhibitions and prefer other types of entertainment. The key to solving the issue is promotion of art centers, conducting festivals involving arts and exhibition of popular collections. Declining of the number of visitors in art centers and museums is caused by reducing overall interest in it among the people. As we know “the beauty is in the eyes of beholder” and if persons believed that a subject was boring, they would never attend it. In addition, modern reality offers us plenty of ways to spend free time, including the highly addictive Internet. Whereas art collections are staying the same for years and the local community have seen it as a rule. One of the ways to tackle the issue is invitation of foreign artists’ exhibitions and famous collections. Thus, this measure will increase number of the domestic visitors and draw an attention of the foreign tourists. Along with it, a promotion campaign should be brought into the action; as many people hear about coming exhibition, as many will visit it. Among other things, thematic festivals with an art collection may attract more viewers. For instance, a thematic autumn festival can include some workshops for painting of the autumn landscape as well as a gallery of paintings depicting the autumn in different technic. In conclusion, the cause behind declining of the number visitations of fine art galleries is lack of interest in seeing it. Some measures can be taken for solving it, such as advertising, art festival conduction and brining well-known collections from other museums.
In modern society, visitation of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
art
museums is decreasing. This is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
are not interested of visiting
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
art
exhibitions and prefer other types of entertainment. The key to solving the issue is promotion of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
art
centers, conducting
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
festivals
involving
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
arts
and exhibition of popular collections.

Declining of the number of visitors in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
art
centers and museums
is caused
by reducing
overall
interest in it among the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
. As we know “the beauty is in the eyes of beholder” and if persons believed that a subject was boring, they would never attend it.
In addition
, modern reality offers us
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
plenty
of ways to spend free time, including the
highly
addictive Internet. Whereas
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
art
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
collections
are staying the same for years and the local community have
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
seen
it as a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
rule
.

One of the ways to tackle the issue is invitation of foreign artists’ exhibitions and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
famous
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
collections
.
Thus
, this measure will increase number of the domestic visitors and draw an attention of the foreign tourists. Along with it, a promotion campaign should
be brought
into the action; as
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
hear about coming exhibition, as
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
will visit it. Among other things, thematic
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
festivals
with an
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
art
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
collection
may attract more viewers.
For instance
, a thematic autumn
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
festival
can include
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
workshops for painting of the autumn landscape
as well
as a gallery of paintings depicting the autumn in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
Possible spelling mistake found.
technic
.

In conclusion
, the cause behind declining of the number visitations of fine
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
art
galleries is lack of interest in seeing it.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
measures can
be taken
for solving it, such as advertising,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
art
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
festival
conduction and brining well-known
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
collections
from other museums.
8Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
17Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
1Mistakes
Language is the blood of the soul into which thoughts run and out of which they grow.
Oliver Wendell Holmes

IELTS essay In some countries the number of people who visit art galleries is declining What are the reasons for this What can be done to solve this situation v. 2

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
273 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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