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Today there are a lot of websites providing news on the internet. Some people believe that these websites will totally replace traditional newspaper and magazines. To what extend do you agree or disagree? v.1

Today there are a lot of websites providing news on the internet. Some people believe that these websites will totally replace traditional newspaper and magazines. v. 1
Right to know information is a basic principal in the modern world and there are several ways of delivering news to the society. At present day a considerable proportion of websites provides news on the internet. Some individuals opine that these news websites should completely take over the traditional newspaper and magazines. However, I completely disagree with this idea and I believe this development will never be able to diminish the existence of newspaper and magazines. There are many reasons why news websites cannot replace newspapers. Firstly, paper based newspapers are very cheap and can be purchased off the shelf easily moreover news on the internet requires expensive hardware such as a laptop, computer or a smartphone. Furthermore newspapers are more convenient to transport form one place to another. Another important fact is that not all people are computer literate and have access to the internet. As an example, a poor family affected by poverty cannot afford any technology. The only source they can obtain information is from the printed newspapers. Secondly, newspapers and magazines are straight forward and reader friendly. All the information and images are simply printed on a piece paper and avoids any type of complications to the reader. Additionally, unlike newspapers and magazines, computers and smart devices can cause eye disorders. For an example, researchers claim that the blue light projects from computer or smart phone displays will stress the eyes and cause poor visibility. In conclusion, some people may argue news website will be a substitute for traditional newspaper and magazines but printed media will remain popular among people although electric media at its peak.
Right to know information is a
Did you mean "basic principle" (=rule)?
basic principal
in the modern world and there are several ways of delivering
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
news
to the society. At present day a considerable proportion of websites provides
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
news
on the internet.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
individuals opine that these
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
news
websites should completely take over the traditional
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
newspaper
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
magazines
.
However
, I completely disagree with this
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
idea
and I believe this development will never be able to diminish the existence of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
newspaper
and magazines.

There are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
reasons why
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
news
websites cannot replace
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
newspapers
.
Firstly
, paper based
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
newspapers
are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
cheap
and can be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
purchased
off the shelf
easily
moreover
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
news
on the internet requires expensive hardware such as a laptop, computer or a smartphone.
Did you forget a comma after a conjunctive/linking adverb?
Furthermore
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
newspapers
are more convenient to transport form one place to another. Another
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
fact is that not all
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
are
This word is normally spelled with hyphen.
computer literate
and have access to the internet. As an example, a poor family
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
affected
by poverty cannot afford any technology. The
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
source they can obtain information is from the printed newspapers.

Secondly
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
newspapers
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
magazines
are straight forward and reader friendly. All the information and images are
simply
printed on a piece paper and avoids any type of complications to the reader.
Additionally
, unlike
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
newspapers
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
magazines
, computers and smart devices can cause eye disorders. For an example, researchers claim that the blue light projects from computer or smart phone displays will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
stress
the eyes and cause poor visibility.

In conclusion
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
may argue
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
news
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
website
will be a substitute for traditional
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
newspaper
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
magazines
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
printed media will remain popular among
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
although electric media at its peak.
7Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
19Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
3Mistakes

IELTS essay Today there are a lot of websites providing news on the internet. Some people believe that these websites will totally replace traditional newspaper and magazines. v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
270 words
6
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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