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To solve ever-increasing environments hazards throughout the world, the best way is to increase the price of fuel. what is your opinion on the above assumption? v.1

To solve ever-increasing environments hazards throughout the world, the best way is to increase the price of fuel. what is your opinion on the above assumption? v. 1
The environment is vital for biodiversity and organisms. In today's era, our surrounding is getting polluted day by day. Massive of mass deem that a myriads of hassles can be solved by the rise of fuel's price, yet there is a plethora of other ways through this the difficulty of environment issue can be mitigated. I will elaborate my opinion as well as my notions in upcoming fragments with rational conclusion. Ironically enough, due to the increasing situation hassles, the natural resources are exploited and they are probably leading exhausted. If the price of fuel increment, then it can reduce the usage of vehicles to some extent. In addition, plethora of middle class folks can approach public transport other alternatives at lower costs, nevertheless, wealthy people can afford eases any price of fuel. Apart from it, if people can use car polling with their relatives and friends, with the aid of car polling people can reduce the traffic trouble which caused by smoke. Having discussed the issues of climate, there could not end of discussion. However, the other obstacle which harms the habitat namely deforestation. Undoubtedly, the forest gives near about 20% oxygen to all over the world spew 30% fresh air which give tremendous benefits to people, but this the habitat get polluted and people face numerous difficulties such as health issues and so forth. Beside this, if the government and individuals work together for their surroundings then they can easily tackle all difficulties. According to my point of view, if folks don't care about their earth, one day it will go to a serious complication, which do-not solved by anyone, so people should aware of their responsibilities. Thus it can be inferred that, if people doing work together with law enforcement agency then they resolve all issues.
The environment is vital for biodiversity and organisms. In
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
today
's era, our surrounding is getting polluted day by day. Massive of mass deem that
Don't use indefinite articles with plural words. Did you mean "a myriad" or simply "myriads"?
a myriads
of hassles can
be solved
by the rise of fuel's price,
yet
there is a plethora of other ways through this the difficulty of environment
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
issue
can
be mitigated
. I will elaborate my opinion
as well
as my notions in upcoming fragments with rational conclusion.

Ironically
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
enough
, due to the increasing situation hassles, the natural resources are
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
exploited and
they are
probably
leading exhausted. If the price of fuel increment, then it can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
reduce
the usage of vehicles to
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
extent.
In addition
, plethora of middle
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
class
folks can approach public transport other alternatives at lower costs,
nevertheless
, wealthy
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
can afford
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
eases
any price of fuel. Apart from it, if
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
car polling with their relatives and friends, with the aid of car polling
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
reduce
the traffic trouble which caused by smoke. Having discussed the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
issues
of climate, there could not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
end
of discussion.

However
, the other obstacle which harms the habitat
namely
deforestation.
Undoubtedly
, the forest gives near about 20% oxygen to all over the world spew 30% fresh air which give tremendous benefits to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
this the habitat
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
polluted and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
face numerous difficulties such as health
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
issues
and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
forth. Beside this, if the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
and individuals work together for their surroundings then they can
easily
tackle all difficulties.

According to my point of view, if folks don't care about their earth, one day it will go to a serious complication, which do-not solved by anyone,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
should aware of their responsibilities.

Did you forget a comma after a conjunctive/linking adverb?
Thus
it can
be inferred
that, if
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
doing work together with law enforcement agency then they resolve all
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
issues
.
8Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
11Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
3Mistakes

IELTS essay To solve ever-increasing environments hazards throughout the world, the best way is to increase the price of fuel. what is your opinion on the above assumption? v. 1

Essay
  American English
5 paragraphs
299 words
6
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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