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Today the world has many urgent problems and solving them is possible by nations’ cooperation. v.1

Today the world has many urgent problems and solving them is possible by nations’ cooperation. v. 1
Globalisation, the buzzword of the modern era, has tremendously positive and negative impacts on today’s world. Some people say that the world has many urgent issues to be considered, however yet another group argues that these problems can be solved easily through the cooperation of different nations. The focus of this essay is to scrutinise the problems and solutions by economic and social perspectives and rule out the writer's opinion. First and foremost, from the economic point of view, half of the world is facing a major financial crisis. Financial equilibrium around the world could only be possible with the help of developed countries. Very often underdeveloped countries export their natural resources in cheapest rate for costly technical products and thus fall into debt. To be clear, to resolve these debts country takes loans from World Bank and this continues as a cycle. These kinds of financial burden can be reduced by taking natural resource in the good rate by developed nations. Secondly, when the problems are taken in social perspectives, it is huge in number. One of the main problems is crime and corruption. Increased rate of this has turned the earth into an evil planet. To be precise, the increase in population has affected the resources inversely proportional thus poverty, unemployment extra has stuck the underdeveloped world. The environmental issues are global and no matter which countries are contributing more to pollute the world, all countries would face the consequence. Hence a global bonding and cooperation to solve such urgent issues are required. The developed countries as well as the developing and under developed countries can all work together to reduce the air and environmental pollution of the world. However, some people argue that help from different part of the world cannot solve these kinds of urgent issues from the root itself but only through the collective management of each country can bring about the changes right from the basic level or foundation. Even though helping hand given by the nations could help solve the problems but it takes time thus for a sudden change cooperation from countries will work out within time. To sum up, solving problems are always fast and effective in a team than in individual thus nations co-operation help solve the urgent problems; the government of a country should also take a role in solving the issues which will boost the strength eradicating international problems.
Possible spelling mistake. 'Globalisation' is British English.
Globalisation
, the buzzword of the modern era, has
tremendously
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
positive
and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
impacts on
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
today
’s
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
world
.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
say that the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
world
has
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
urgent
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
issues
to
be considered
,
however
yet
another group argues that these
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
problems
can
be solved
easily
through the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cooperation
of
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
nations. The focus of this essay is to
Possible spelling mistake. 'scrutinise' is British English.
scrutinise
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
problems
and solutions by economic and social perspectives and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
rule
out the writer's opinion.

First
and foremost, from the economic point of view, half of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
world
is facing a major financial crisis. Financial equilibrium around the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
world
could
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
be possible with the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
help
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
developed
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Very
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
often
underdeveloped
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
export their natural resources in
A determiner is probably missing here: "the cheapest".
cheapest
rate for costly technical products and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
thus
fall into debt. To be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
clear
, to resolve these debts
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
takes loans from
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
World
Bank and this continues as a cycle. These kinds of financial burden can be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
reduced
by taking natural resource in the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
rate by
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
developed
nations.

Secondly
, when the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
problems
are taken
in social perspectives, it is
A more concise phrase may lose no meaning and sound more powerful.
huge in number
. One of the main
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
problems
is crime and corruption. Increased rate of this has turned the earth into an evil planet. To be precise, the increase in population has
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
affected
the resources
inversely
proportional
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
thus
poverty, unemployment extra has stuck the underdeveloped world.

The environmental
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
issues
are global and no matter which
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
are contributing more to pollute the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
world
, all
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
would face the consequence.
Did you forget a comma after a conjunctive/linking adverb?
Hence
a global bonding and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cooperation
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
solve
such
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
urgent
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
issues
are required
. The
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
developed
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
as well
as the developing and under
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
developed
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
can all work together to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
reduce
the air and environmental pollution of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
world
.
However
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
argue that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
help
from
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
part of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
world
cannot
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
solve
these kinds of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
urgent
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
issues
from the root itself
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
through the collective management of each
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
can bring about the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
changes
right from the basic level or foundation.
Even though
helping hand
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
given
by the nations could
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
help
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
solve
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
problems
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
it takes time
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
thus
for a sudden
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
change
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cooperation
from
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
will work out within time.

To sum up, solving
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
problems
are always
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
fast
and effective in a team than in individual
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
thus
nations co-operation
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
help
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
solve
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
urgent
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
problems
; the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
of a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
should
also
take a role in solving the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
issues
which will boost the strength eradicating international
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
problems
.
13Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
54Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
5Mistakes

IELTS essay Today the world has many urgent problems and solving them is possible by nations’ cooperation. v. 1

Essay
  American English
5 paragraphs
401 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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