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There is a good deal of evidence that increasing car use is contributing to global warming and having other undesirable effects on people’s health and well-being. v.2

There is a good deal of evidence that increasing car use is contributing to global warming and having other undesirable effects on people’s health and well-being. v. 2
It is evident that the mass car ownership is associated with several environmental and health issues, including global warming, lung cancer, and anxiety. Although the convenience of possessing a car has made it almost an inexorable trend, there are measures that governments can take to discourage unnecessary car use. The first, and also the most effective measure could be to make it expensive to own and use a car. This measure can be implemented by taxing heavily on initial car purchasing, congested roads using, and petrol consuming. By doing so, people might start considering reducing their car use, especially for the unnecessary trips. However, there is a drawback of this approach that it is often the poorer residents will suffer from the increased cost. The poor might have to cut some necessary trips because of the financial burden, whereas the rich ones would be able to maintain their convenience from car use. Therefore, this measure may be effective, but not fair to the poor. Another way to discourage people from using their cars is to encourage them using alternative transports, such as trains, buses, and bicycles. Evidence has shown that cities, such as Tokyo and Paris, where better public transport systems are offered, car use rates are lower and roads are less congested. People will only be most willing to use public transports when they are almost or even more convenience than driving their cars. Therefore, governments could invest more in infrastructure and transport system design and construction in order to provide adequate and competitive alternatives. To conclude, increasing the cost of having and using a car could be an effective way to reduce the car use. However, improving and encouraging the use of public transports could be the better and more sustainable way to achieve this goal.
It is evident that the mass
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
car
ownership
is associated
with several environmental and health issues, including global warming, lung cancer, and anxiety. Although the convenience of possessing a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
car
has made it almost an inexorable trend, there are
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
measures
that
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
governments
can take to discourage unnecessary
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
car
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
.

The
The comma is probably incorrect: "first"
first,
and
also
the most effective
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
measure
could be to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
it expensive to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
car
. This
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
measure
can
be implemented
by taxing
heavily
on initial
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
car
purchasing, congested roads using, and petrol consuming. By doing
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
might
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
start
considering reducing their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
car
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
,
especially
for the unnecessary trips.
However
, there is a drawback of this approach that it is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
often
the poorer residents will suffer from the increased cost. The poor might
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
cut
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
necessary trips
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of the financial burden, whereas the rich ones would be able to maintain their convenience from
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
car
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
.
Therefore
, this
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
measure
may be effective,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
fair
to the poor.

Another way to discourage
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
from using their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cars
is to encourage them using alternative
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
transports
, such as trains, buses, and bicycles. Evidence has shown that cities, such as Tokyo and Paris, where better public
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
transport
systems
are offered
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
car
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
rates are lower and roads are less congested.
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
People
will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
be most willing to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
public
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
transports
when they are almost or even more convenience than driving their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cars
.
Therefore
,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
governments
could invest more in infrastructure and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
transport
system design and construction in order to provide adequate and competitive alternatives.

To conclude
, increasing the cost of having and using a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
car
could be an effective way to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
reduce
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
car
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
.
However
, improving and encouraging the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
of public
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
transports
could be the better and more sustainable way to achieve this goal.
11Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
21Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
1Mistakes

IELTS essay There is a good deal of evidence that increasing car use is contributing to global warming and having other undesirable effects on people’s health and well-being. v. 2

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
298 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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