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Many of today's most urgent problems can only be solved through international cooperation. To what extent do you agree or disagree? v.2

Many of today's most urgent problems can only be solved through international cooperation. v. 2
Nowadays transport is becoming a basic necessity of the community than the past. There are several transport methods used by people in their day to day travels. Among them travelling by train and use own vehicle on the road are popular. In that case many think, that giving priority to develop railway than roads are essential as a government. As a representative of this society, I totally agree with the idea and this essay will focus the reasons for it. Let’s begin with finding which transport method is more popular among the users. This is always a matter with the day to day travels. Such as office carder and School children are the most benefited sectors from above mentioned methods. According to the recent researches proved that using trains are most convenient and comfortable way. Driving a personal car on a road or taking public bus cannot carry many people at a time. Instead of that huge number of persons can go on a train once. The usual road congestion may not affect the railway also. Because of these facts using railway is more usable for community. Turning to the matter of funds allocating decision of the government, first they should consider the mostly using transport medium of the country. Because many people will get the advantage if so, and it will not be a waste of money. But the authorities should spend some amount of funds compared to the roads also. Because, as a country, the infrastructure should maintain at an acceptable level. In conclusion, government should do a survey and come to a decision before allocating money to this kind of areas. Then only the authorities can get a clear picture of the real development of particular sections. Finally, I believe that investing more funds in locomotive system will not be a waste rather than spending lots for roads.
Nowadays
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
transport
is becoming a basic necessity of the community than the past. There are several
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
transport
methods
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
by
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
in their
It appears that two hyphens are missing.
day to day
travels. Among them travelling by train and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
vehicle on the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
road
are popular.
In that case
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
, that giving priority to develop railway than
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
roads
are essential as a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
. As a representative of this society, I
totally
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
with the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
idea
and this essay will focus the reasons for it.

This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
Let
’s
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
begin
with finding which
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
transport
method is more popular among the users. This is always a matter with the
It appears that two hyphens are missing.
day to day
travels. Such as office carder and School children are the most benefited sectors from above mentioned methods. According to the recent researches proved that using trains are most convenient and comfortable way. Driving a personal car on a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
road
or taking public bus cannot carry
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
at a time.
Instead
of that huge number of persons can go on a train once. The usual
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
road
congestion may not affect the railway
also
.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Because
of these facts using railway is more usable for community.

Turning to the matter of funds allocating decision of the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
,
first
they should consider the
mostly
using
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
transport
medium of the country.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Because
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
the advantage if
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
, and it will not be a waste of money.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
But
the authorities should spend
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
amount of funds compared to the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
roads
also
.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Because
, as a country, the infrastructure should maintain at an acceptable level.

In conclusion
,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
should do a survey and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
come
to a decision
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
before
allocating money to this kind of areas. Then
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
the authorities can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
clear
picture of the real development of particular sections.
Finally
, I believe that investing more funds in locomotive system will not be a waste
rather
than spending lots for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
roads
.
7Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7Mistakes

IELTS essay Many of today's most urgent problems can only be solved through international cooperation. v. 2

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
311 words
7
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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