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Many of today’s most urgent problems can only be solved through international cooperation. To what extent do you agree or disagree? v.1

Many of today’s most urgent problems can only be solved through international cooperation. v. 1
In these days, many times countries faced various types of problems that may solve via dialogue with each others. In my opinion, I completely agree with that because cooperation is only a solution that helps us to resolve high priority problems such as contact to beloved one, control on health viruses and to arrest a suspicious person. Firstly, many families suffered when they are not able to contact with their beloved ones living in the other countries. Sometimes, due to bad weather conditions or failure of communication networks, individuals are not able to communicate with others then the foreign embassies helps people in this regard. For example, in the last year, when I was unable to call in Iraq due to excessive weather problems, I asked help from the embassy in Pakistan. Secondly, health related viruses recognizing as the highest level issues. Corona Virus is spreading around all over the world which originated from the China, sudden steps are required to control it. Many countries are cooperating with China such as by providing medical equipments and by stopping the evacuation of their own citizens immediately. Moreover, almost each country faced numerous types of terrorism issues every year. Most of the terrorist preferred to leave the country after committing a crime. In this situation, affected state failed to arrest that person, but the second country can help in this such as by exchanging the intelligence information. In conclusion, many of the urgent problems can be resolve by the international cooperation such as by embassies help, mutual decisions and by exchanging valuable information. I suggest the leaders of each country to cooperate with each other in order to better survive.
In these days,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
times
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
faced various types of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
problems
that may solve via dialogue with each
The noun should be probably in the singular form: "other"?
others
. In my opinion, I completely
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
with that
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
cooperation is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
a solution that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
helps
us to resolve high priority
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
problems
such as contact to beloved one, control on health viruses and to arrest a suspicious person.

Firstly
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
families suffered when they are not able to contact with their beloved ones living in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
.
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
Sometimes
, due to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
bad
weather conditions or failure of communication networks, individuals are not able to communicate with others then the foreign embassies
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
helps
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
in this regard.
For example
, in the last year, when I was unable to call in Iraq due to excessive weather
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
problems
, I asked
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
help
from the embassy in Pakistan.

Secondly
, health related viruses recognizing as the highest level issues.
The term "Coronavirus" (= disease) is spelled as one word.
Corona Virus
is spreading around all over the world which originated from the China, sudden steps
are required
to control it.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
are cooperating with China such as by providing medical equipments and by stopping the evacuation of their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
citizens immediately.

Moreover
, almost each
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
faced numerous types of terrorism issues every year. Most of the terrorist preferred to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
leave
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
after committing a crime. In this situation,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
affected
state failed to arrest that person,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
the second
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
can
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
help
in this such as by exchanging the intelligence information.

In conclusion
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
of the urgent
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
problems
can be
Consider using a past participle here: "resolved".
resolve
by the international cooperation such as by embassies
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
help
, mutual decisions and by exchanging valuable information. I suggest the leaders of each
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
to cooperate with each
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
in order to better survive.
5Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
18Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
3Mistakes

IELTS essay Many of today’s most urgent problems can only be solved through international cooperation. v. 1

Essay
  American English
5 paragraphs
278 words
6
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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