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Today, the high sales of popular consumer goods reflex the power of advertising and not the needs of the society in which they are sold. To what extend do you agree or disagree? v.1

Today, the high sales of popular consumer goods reflex the power of advertising and not the needs of the society in which they are sold. v. 1
It is argued by some people that the surge in the sales of some common goods is due to the effects of advertisement and not as a result of societal needs. I agree with this view, as advertisement creates artificial needs and it encourages the purchase of items which may not be necessary due to the impression of success and glamour associated with them, Firstly, one major effect of advertisement is that it create artificial needs. In other words, it makes it difficult for people to distinguish between their wants and their needs. Thus, people are manipulated to purchase certain goods which are not essential in their environment and forgo more important items. For example, children may pester their parents to buy certain toys that are regularly advertised on the television even when there are other pressing needs. As a result, people often buy consumer goods that they do not really need. Furthermore, advertisement impresses success and glamour on some goods, which makes people to buy them. In an effort to increase the sales of some goods, famous individuals are use to advertise these items so that people will associate their success to those products or link some goods to affluence and power. This is often used in the promotion of products such as wears with their accessories and electronic devices. For instance, there have been a surge in sales of Apple phones to youths in Nigeria due to the fact that its advertisements link the products with successful individuals. If these goods are not glamourised through advertisements, many people would not have purchased them since there are more important needs in the society. In conclusion, I agree that advertisement has increased the sales of some consumer products which are not necessary. This occurs because advertisement creates artificial needs and it links some non-essential products to successs and glamour
It
is argued
by
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
that the surge in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sales
of
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
common
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
goods
is due to the effects of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
advertisement
and not
as a result
of societal
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
needs
. I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
with this view, as
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
advertisement
creates artificial
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
needs
and it encourages the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
purchase
of items which may not be necessary due to the impression of success and glamour associated with them,

Firstly
, one major effect of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
advertisement
is that it create artificial
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
needs
.
In other words
, it
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
makes
it difficult for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
to distinguish between their wants and their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
needs
.
Thus
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
are manipulated
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
purchase
certain
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
goods
which are not essential in their environment and forgo more
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
items.
For example
, children may pester their parents to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
buy
certain toys that are
regularly
advertised on the television even when there are other pressing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
needs
.
As a result
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
often
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
buy
consumer
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
goods
that they do not
really
need.

Furthermore
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
advertisement
impresses success and glamour on
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
goods
, which
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
makes
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
buy
them. In an effort to increase the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sales
of
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
goods
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
famous
individuals are
Make sure that 'use to' is correct. For habitual actions in the past or to mean 'accustomed to', use "used to".
use to
advertise these items
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
will associate their success to those
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
products
or link
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
goods
to affluence and power. This is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
often
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
in the promotion of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
products
such as wears with their accessories and electronic devices.
For instance
, there have been a surge in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sales
of Apple phones to youths in Nigeria due to the fact that its
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
advertisements
link the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
products
with successful individuals. If these
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
goods
are not
Possible spelling mistake found.
glamourised
through
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
advertisements
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
would not have
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
purchased
them since there are more
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
needs
in the society.

In conclusion
, I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
advertisement
has increased the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sales
of
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
consumer
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
products
which are not necessary. This occurs
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
advertisement
creates artificial
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
needs
and it links
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
non-essential
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
products
to
Possible spelling mistake. Did you mean "successes", the plural form of the noun 'success'?
successs
and
Please add a punctuation mark at the end of paragraph
glamour
12Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
38Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
4Mistakes
Learn a language, and you’ll avoid a war.
Arab Proverb

IELTS essay Today, the high sales of popular consumer goods reflex the power of advertising and not the needs of the society in which they are sold. v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
308 words
6
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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