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Today, the high sales of popular consumer goods reflects the power of advertising and not the real needs of the society in which they are sold. To what extent do you agree or disagree? v.1

Today, the high sales of popular consumer goods reflects the power of advertising and not the real needs of the society in which they are sold. v. 1
Nowadays, increase in sell of famous end user products shows the influence of advertisement over the actual needs of the nation where they are sold. This essay disagrees that showcasing of goods causes increase in the sales of consumables rather than the needs of the people. Hence, scale of preference and financial constrain will be discussed as factors that inhibit marketing of consumer goods. How important a product is to a consumer determines their willingness to buy them. Every individual has a scale of preference as well as a budget, these list ranges from the most important to the least Hence, the ones seen as significant are purchased first until the list is exhausted. Therefore, people concentrate more on what is needed in their home not regarding the commodities being shown on the media. For example, a research on the auction of tommy trimmers shows that 70% of the women with protruded abdomen will not buy a trimmer as they are of the opinion that the need is not as important as other needs outlined. Financial constrains limits people to acquire goods they perceive as needful. Human needs are insatiable therefore, when one need is met another arises. Although everyone has a desire to be able to achieve whatever wants they crave for, this craving is inhibited by lack of money. Thus, when capital is unavailable consumers will not purchase goods no matter the amount of awareness being made about a product. For instance, Dangote refinery confirmed that during the period of recession in Nigeria, the number of sold goods dropped not minding the measures kept in place to increase awareness. They ascertained it was caused by limited amounts of money owned by individuals. In conclusion, media broadcast of consumables does not enhance patronage rather people buy goods that are useful to them, as they consider its usefulness and availability of funds.
Nowadays, increase in sell of
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
famous
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
end
user products
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
shows
the influence of advertisement over the actual
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
needs
of the nation where they
are sold
. This essay disagrees that showcasing of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
goods
causes increase in the sales of consumables
rather
than the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
needs
of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
.
Hence
, scale of preference and financial constrain will
be discussed
as factors that inhibit marketing of consumer
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
goods
.

How
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
a product is to a consumer determines their willingness to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
buy
them. Every individual has a scale of preference
as well
as a budget, these list ranges from the most
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
to the least
Hence
, the ones
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
seen
as significant are
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
purchased
first
until the list
is exhausted
.
Therefore
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
concentrate more on what
is needed
in their home not regarding the commodities
being shown
on the media.
For example
,
Uncountable nouns are usually not used with an indefinite article. Use simply "research".
a research
on the auction of
Possible spelling mistake found.
tommy
trimmers
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
shows
that 70% of the women with protruded abdomen will not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
buy
a trimmer as they are of the opinion that the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
need
is not as
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
as other
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
needs
outlined.

Financial constrains limits
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
to acquire
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
goods
they perceive as needful. Human
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
needs
are insatiable
therefore
, when one
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
need
is met
another arises. Although everyone has a desire to be able to achieve whatever wants they crave for, this craving
is inhibited
by lack of money.
Thus
, when capital is unavailable consumers will not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
purchase
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
goods
no matter the amount of awareness
being made
about a product.
For instance
,
Possible spelling mistake found.
Dangote
refinery confirmed that during the period of recession in Nigeria, the number of sold
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
goods
dropped not minding the measures
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
kept
in place to increase awareness. They ascertained it
was caused
by limited amounts of money
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
owned
by individuals.

In conclusion
, media broadcast of consumables does not enhance patronage
rather
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
buy
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
goods
that are useful to them, as they consider its usefulness and availability of funds.
14Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
15Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
3Mistakes

IELTS essay Today, the high sales of popular consumer goods reflects the power of advertising and not the real needs of the society in which they are sold. v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
312 words
6
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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