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Today the high sales of popular consumer goods Reflects the power of advertising and not the real need of the society in which they are sold. To what do you agree or disagree v.1

Today the high sales of popular consumer goods Reflects the power of advertising and not the real need of the society in which they are sold. To what v. 1
The advertisements have changed drastically in the past few eras. This has affected the human society at large extent as people look into the advertisements and buy products that are superfluous to them, this is nothing but a business stunt. In this essay, I will delve into the influence of advertisements by throwing light on the food and toiletries industry and will support them through an example of incidents in India and Bangladesh in the year 2009. It is irrefutable that advertisements are important as they provide important information about the products, as well as the procedure to use it. For example, in 2009 there was an advertisement in India, about the instant grilled chicken and it was shown that if people buy it the lucky purchaser will get a good coin. The sale of the product went up and broke whole of the records. Later, the product was banned due to the deteriorate quality of chicken used. There was another incident in Bangladesh in about the same time, there was an advertisement that imposed the viability of hair shaving kit more than a scissors. The cost of the kit was kept for Rs 300 and the scissors cost was just Rs 10, but still the company was able to show a record sales growth in that year. Though there are few people who really evaluate the advertisement and the thing packed inside the package, but the major part of the population believes in the advertisements, therefore I agree that advertisements do not share the correct information about the product but influence people to purchase the products.
The
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
advertisements
have
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
changed
drastically
in the past few eras. This has
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
affected
the human society at large extent as
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
look into the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
advertisements
and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
buy
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
products
that are superfluous to them, this is nothing
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
a business stunt. In this essay, I will delve into the influence of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
advertisements
by throwing light on the food and toiletries industry and will support them through an example of incidents in India and Bangladesh in the year 2009.

It is irrefutable that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
advertisements
are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
as they provide
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
information about the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
products
,
as well
as the procedure to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
it.
For example
, in 2009 there was an
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
advertisement
in India, about the instant grilled chicken and it
was shown
that if
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
buy
it the lucky purchaser will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
coin. The sale of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
product
went up and broke whole of the records. Later, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
product
was banned
due to
After 'the', do not use a verb. Make sure that the spelling of 'deteriorate' is correct. If 'deteriorate' is the first word in a compound adjective, use a hyphen between the two words. Note: This error message can occur if you use a verb as a noun, and the word is not a noun in standard English.
the deteriorate
quality of chicken
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
.

There was another incident in Bangladesh in about the same time, there was an
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
advertisement
that imposed the viability of hair shaving kit more than
Don't use indefinite articles with plural words. Did you mean "a (scissors)" or simply "scissors"?
a scissors
. The cost of the kit was
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
kept
for Rs 300 and the scissors cost was
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
Rs 10,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
still
the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
company
was able to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
show
a record sales growth in that year.

Though there are few
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
who
really
evaluate the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
advertisement
and the thing packed inside the package,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
the major part of the population believes in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
advertisements
,
therefore
I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
advertisements
do not share the correct information about the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
product
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
influence
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
purchase
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
products
.
5Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
19Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
2Mistakes

IELTS essay Today the high sales of popular consumer goods Reflects the power of advertising and not the real need of the society in which they are sold. To what v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
267 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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