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al baddies are interested in extracting what they want from us. But they are too deft and complicated ever to allow themselves to be painted in villainous colours. They are our friend, and friends don’t h v.1

al baddies are interested in extracting what they want from us. But they are too deft and complicated ever to allow themselves to be painted in villainous colours. They are our friend, and friends don’t h v. 1
Like a cartoon baddie, real baddies are interested in extracting what they want from us. But they are too deft and complicated ever to allow themselves to be painted in villainous colours. They are our friend, and friends don’t harm those closest to them, do they? Poignantly, baddies may not even be overly conscious of harbouring dark motives. If we were being very kind to them, we might say: perhaps they’re not bad as such, they’re just afraid of being abandoned. They’re not bad, they just don’t like dissent. They’re not bad, they just had a very difficult time when they were little and want to ensure that they aren’t left high and dry ever again. They don’t set out to destroy people, they are simply not so focused on the independent existence of others. They don’t mean not to listen to you, it’s that certain rooms in their minds are bolted shut. They don’t mean to harm you, it’s that they haven’t fully realised you quite exist as your own autonomous entity. They aren’t bad as such, what they are above anything else is very damaged and very ill in ways they cannot think about and that they will try at all costs to stop you noticing as well – but their effect on us most certainly is bad – and in that sense they may royally deserve the punchy title we’re threatening to accord them. Interestingly, we’re not all equally poor at spotting baddies. There are backgrounds in which we were taught that if we were not happy in a situation, we didn’t have to worry about causing a problem, we could just politely make our excuses and leave. But others of us were brought up by people who were – in the sense we’ve been examining – something akin to baddies themselves, who sold us an ambitious story about loving us and then didn’t honour it, thereby seriously scrambling our ability to know our minds, recognise our feelings and protect our interests. We may now be adults who can’t tell for a very long time when bad is being done to us, who think it might be a good thing, or that it might become good over time or that it is a punishment we deserve or that a bit of trouble doesn’t really matter, given how little we matter in the end.
Like a cartoon baddie, real baddies
are interested
in extracting what they want from us.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
But
they are too deft and complicated ever to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
allow
themselves to
be painted
in villainous
Possible spelling mistake. 'colours' is British English.
colours
. They are our friend, and friends don’t harm those closest to them, do they?

Poignantly
, baddies may not even be
overly
conscious of
Possible spelling mistake found.
harbouring
dark motives. If we were being
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
kind to them, we might say: perhaps
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
they’re
not
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
bad
as such,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
they’re
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
afraid of
being abandoned
.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
They’re
not
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
bad
, they
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
don’t like dissent.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
They’re
not
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
bad
, they
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
had a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
difficult time when they were
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
little
and want to ensure that they aren’t
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
left
high and dry ever again.
Three successive sentences begin with the same word. Consider rewording the sentence or use a thesaurus to find a synonym.
They
don’t set out to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
destroy
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
, they are
simply
not
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
focused on the independent existence of others.
Three successive sentences begin with the same word. Consider rewording the sentence or use a thesaurus to find a synonym.
They
don’
Double negatives are discouraged in standard English. Can you reformulate this phrase or is a comma missing?
t mean not
to listen to you, it’s that certain rooms in their minds
are bolted
shut.
Three successive sentences begin with the same word. Consider rewording the sentence or use a thesaurus to find a synonym.
They
don’t mean to harm you, it’s that they haven’t
fully
Possible spelling mistake. 'realised' is British English.
realised
you quite exist as your
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
autonomous entity.
Three successive sentences begin with the same word. Consider rewording the sentence or use a thesaurus to find a synonym.
They
aren’t
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
bad
as such, what they are above anything else is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
damaged and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
ill in ways they cannot
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
about and that they will try at all costs to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
stop
you noticing
as well
Consider using an m-dash if you do not want to join two words.
–
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
their effect on us most
certainly
is
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
bad
Consider using an m-dash if you do not want to join two words.
–
and in that sense they may
royally
deserve the punchy title we’re threatening to accord them.

Interestingly
, we’re not all
equally
poor at spotting baddies. There are backgrounds in which we
were taught
that if we were not happy in a situation, we didn’t
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
worry about causing a problem, we could
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
politely
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
our excuses and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
leave
.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
But
others of us
were brought
up by
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
who
were
Consider using an m-dash if you do not want to join two words.
–
in the sense we’ve been examining
Consider using an m-dash if you do not want to join two words.
–
something akin to baddies themselves,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
who
sold us an ambitious story about loving us and then didn’t
Possible spelling mistake. 'honour' is British English.
honour
it, thereby
seriously
scrambling our ability to know our minds,
Possible spelling mistake. 'recognise' is British English.
recognise
our feelings and protect our interests. We may
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
now
be adults
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
who
can’t
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
tell
for a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
long time when
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
bad
is
being done
to us,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
who
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
it might be a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
thing, or that it might become
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
over time or that it is a punishment we deserve or that a bit of trouble doesn’t
really
matter,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
given
how
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
little
we matter in the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
end
.
2Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
14Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
14Mistakes

IELTS essay al baddies are interested in extracting what they want from us. But they are too deft and complicated ever to allow themselves to be painted in villainous colours. They are our friend, and friends don’t h v. 1

Essay
  American English
3 paragraphs
396 words
6
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 5.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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