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Today, the high sales of popular consumer goods reflect the power of advertising and not the real needs of the society in which they are sold. To what extent do you agree or disagree? v.1

Today, the high sales of popular consumer goods reflect the power of advertising and not the real needs of the society in which they are sold. v. 1
It is controversial issue that whether consumers are tricked by different forms of advertisement into buying goods unreasonably or that advertisement helps them make informed decisions to buy what they want. To some extent I agree that advertising has an impact on sales, but I would also agree that we do need most of the goods that we buy. On the one hand, there are people who argue that advertisement agencies nowadays have become extremely clever in convincing people to buy certain products. The reason for this belief is that many people are making purchases that simply do not reflect any of their personal needs because they just want to stay up date with the latest fashions. For instance, every year people can be seen queuing to buy the latest models of mobile phone, even when they already have a perfectly good phone that does not need replacing. Furthermore, advertisements encourage sale of inferior products so people are tempted by handsome prices without concerning about real quality as well as their demand. On the other hand, it is often argued that the benefits of advertisement considerably outweigh its disadvantages. Firstly, there are a lot of new useful products coming out every day and the only way to know more information about them is through advertisements. Therefore, if the customers have demand for any items, they will take some advertisements into account. One interesting illustration of this is the promotion of new medications which help doctors prescribe and educate patients about the benefits of these medications. In addition, new products almost always have improved features that buyers may want so they need to be advertised for the best sales. A new car, for example, may have greatly improved safety features, more economic to run or it may pollute less. In conclusion, while advertising obviously influences our buying behavior, I do not agree that people make decisions that against their real needs.
It is controversial issue that whether consumers
are tricked
by
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
forms of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
advertisement
into buying
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
goods
unreasonably
or that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
advertisement
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
helps
them
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
informed decisions to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
buy
what they want. To
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
extent I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
that advertising has an impact on sales,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
I would
also
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
that we do
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
need
most of the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
goods
that we
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
buy
.

On the one hand, there are
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
who argue that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
advertisement
agencies nowadays have become
extremely
clever in convincing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
buy
certain
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
products
. The reason for this belief is that
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
are making
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
purchases
that
simply
do not reflect any of their personal
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
needs
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
they
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
want to stay up date with the latest fashions.
For instance
, every year
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
can be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
seen
queuing to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
buy
the latest models of mobile phone, even when they already have a
perfectly
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
phone that does not
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
need
replacing.
Furthermore
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
advertisements
encourage sale of inferior
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
products
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
are tempted
by handsome prices without concerning about real quality
as well
as their demand.

On the other hand
, it is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
often
argued that the benefits of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
advertisement
considerably
outweigh its disadvantages.
Firstly
, there are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
a lot of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
new
useful
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
products
coming out every day and the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
way to know more information about them is through
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
advertisements
.
Therefore
, if the customers have demand for any items, they will take
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
advertisements
into account. One interesting illustration of this is the promotion of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
new
medications which
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
doctors prescribe and educate patients about the benefits of these medications.
In addition
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
new
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
products
almost always have
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improved
features that buyers may want
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
they
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
need
to
be advertised
for the best sales. A
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
new
car,
for example
, may have
greatly
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improved
safety features, more economic to run or it may pollute less.

In conclusion
, while advertising
obviously
influences our buying behavior, I do not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
decisions that against their real
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
needs
.
11Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
26Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
1Mistakes

IELTS essay Today, the high sales of popular consumer goods reflect the power of advertising and not the real needs of the society in which they are sold. v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
320 words
6
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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