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Today, the high sales of popular consumer goods reflect the power of advertising and not the real needs of the society in which they are sold. To what extent do you agree and disagree? v.14

In this modern era, all companies take support of advertisements to grow the company on the higher side. Consumers think that the reason for increasing sales is advertisements, not people 's needs. I disagree with this notion that people buy things according to their needs. Firstly, no doubt advertisements attract the people to buy the new things but in reality some people do not see the adverts of the newspaper or electronic media, because in this busy life nobody has time to read the newspaper. People prefer to buy things by comparing with other products and different shops. For example, nowadays mobile phones are more popular than everything and people purchase them by comparing other gadgets. They also see photo clarity of the phone, memory and most important price. Some richest people attract with the advertisement and they buy things looking at the adverts, not the price and need. On the other hand, companies make the advertisements of the popular products of the company. They give advertisements in newspapers, mobile phones and on the roads to influence the people to buy things. Advertisements focus on selling the brand image and they fail to focus on their drawbacks. They use glamorous and successful people to attract the customers. Advertisements often aim their marketing at children products to increase their sales and we are encouraged to associate certain brands with a higher status. In conclusion, not doubt advertising is necessary in free market economics and it create demand for the product but still reason for high sales is because the need of the society.
In this modern era, all
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
companies
take support of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
advertisements
to grow the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
company
on the higher side. Consumers
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
that the reason for increasing sales is
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
advertisements
, not
There probably shouldn’t be a space before the apostrophe.
people 's
needs. I disagree with this notion that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
buy
things according to their needs.

Firstly
, no doubt
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
advertisements
attract the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
buy
the new things
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
in reality
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
do not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
see
the adverts of the newspaper or electronic media,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
in this busy life nobody has time to read the newspaper.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
People
prefer to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
buy
things by comparing with other
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
products
and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
shops.
For example
, nowadays mobile phones are more popular than everything and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
purchase
them by comparing other gadgets. They
also
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
see
photo clarity of the phone, memory and most
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
price.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
richest
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
attract with the
Use a comma before ‘and’ if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
advertisement and
they
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
buy
things looking at the adverts, not the price and need.

On the other hand
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
companies
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
advertisements
of the popular
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
products
of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
company
. They give
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
advertisements
in newspapers, mobile phones and on the roads to influence the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
buy
things.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Advertisements
focus on selling the brand
Use a comma before ‘and’ if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
image and
they fail to focus on their drawbacks. They
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
glamorous and successful
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
to attract the customers.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Advertisements
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
often
aim their marketing at children
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
products
to increase their
Use a comma before ‘and’ if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
sales and
we
are encouraged
to associate certain brands with a higher status.

In conclusion
, not doubt advertising is necessary in free market
Use a comma before ‘and’ if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
economics and
it
After ‘it’, use the third-person verb form “creates”.
create
demand for the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
product
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
still
reason for high sales is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
the need of the society.
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The limits of my language mean the limits of my world.
Ludwig Wittgenstein

IELTS essay Today the high sales of popular consumer goods reflect the power of advertising and not the real needs of the society in which they are sold.

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
262 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 5.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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