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Today the high sales of popular consumer goods reflect the power of advertising and not the real needs of the society in which they are sold. To what extent do you agree with these views? v.9

Today the high sales of popular consumer goods reflect the power of advertising and not the real needs of the society in which they are sold. v. 9
Nowadays society is tempted to buy advertising products. They are not the real needs of people where they are sold. I firmly agree with this statement up to some extent. This essay will argue why consumer products are not advertised according to the basic needs of the public. First and foremost, people prioritize high-level products to get. They often apply famous companies, like McDonald's to have cheap and delicious food. These kinds of companies like to use advertisements to attract many people's attention to their goods. They are advertised with good qualities and prices on TV and social media. That is turn has hazardous effects on society because they don't cover people's important meals and can result in health problems. According to the statistics in the US, the majority of people are likely to buy products, such as fast food, because of their popularity. It can happen with the help of advertisements of them in public and might have a shadow on the real needs of consumers. It is considered that human beings are catching up with society. It means that we always want to buy new or modern things, for example, a mobile phone, to show ourselves. For instance, I have noticed my neighbor is keeping the trace of the others, that's the way she is more likely to spend more money on unnecessary items than the most important needs. As a result, she must follow recent advertisements to get more modern and fresh goods than her neighbors. It shows how advertisements can affect our lives. Furthermore, they may create an image among people that if some people buy it, you also have to get. I reckon that advertisements have a huge adverse impact on us. In conclusion, a lot of people prefer advertising goods instead of their real needs, I do believe that it is a consequent of advertisements in many places which affect their thoughts. Similarly, it is an undeniable fact that their existence can cause several problems in human relationships.
Nowadays society
is tempted
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
buy
advertising
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
products
. They are not the real
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
needs
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
where they
are sold
. I
firmly
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
with this statement up to
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
extent. This essay will argue why consumer
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
products
are not advertised according to the basic
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
needs
of the public.

First
and foremost,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
prioritize high-level
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
products
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
. They
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
often
apply
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
famous
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
companies
, like McDonald's to have
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
cheap
and delicious food. These kinds of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
companies
like to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
advertisements
to attract
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
's attention to their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
goods
. They
are advertised
with
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
good
qualities and prices on TV and social media.
That is
turn has hazardous effects on society
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
they don't cover
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
's
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
meals and can result in health problems. According to the statistics in the US, the majority of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
are likely to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
buy
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
products
, such as
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
fast
food,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of their popularity. It can happen with the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
advertisements
of them in public and might have a shadow on the real
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
needs
of consumers.

It
is considered
that human beings are catching up with society.
Three successive sentences begin with the same word. Consider rewording the sentence or use a thesaurus to find a synonym.
It
means that we always want to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
buy
new or modern things,
for example
, a mobile phone, to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
show
ourselves.
For instance
, I have noticed my neighbor is keeping the trace of the others, that's the way she is more likely to spend more money on unnecessary items than the most
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
needs
.
As a result
,

she
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
follow recent
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
advertisements
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
more modern and fresh
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
goods
than her neighbors. It
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
shows
how
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
advertisements
can affect our
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
lives
.
Furthermore
, they may create an image among
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
that if
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
buy
it, you
also
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
. I reckon that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
advertisements
have a huge adverse impact on us.

In conclusion
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
a lot of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
prefer advertising
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
goods
instead
of their real
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
needs
, I do believe that it is a consequent of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
advertisements
in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
places which affect their thoughts.
Similarly
, it is an undeniable fact that their existence can cause several problems in human relationships.
9Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
29Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
1Mistakes

IELTS essay Today the high sales of popular consumer goods reflect the power of advertising and not the real needs of the society in which they are sold. v. 9

Essay
  American English
5 paragraphs
334 words
6
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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