Do you want to improve your writing? Try our new evaluation service and get detailed feedback.
Check Your Text it's free

Today the high sales of popular consumer goods reflect the power of advertising and not the real needs of the society in which they are sold. To what extent do you agree with these views? v.8

Today the high sales of popular consumer goods reflect the power of advertising and not the real needs of the society in which they are sold. v. 8
Nowadays, the debate whether the high revenue of popular consumer goods mirror the power of advertising or the real need of the society is the main leader, has caused a ruckus among myriads of citizens. Some may believe that the power of advertising is the main driver of these sales; however opponents disagree-claiming that high sales only result from customers' needs, with emphasise to my perspective, I acquiesce that although both influences the volume of goods sold, advertising has the major role in convincing customers. Extremely biased to my standpoint, there is a vast plethora of proofs of the power of advertising especially among teenagers. For example, a kid may be attracted to a certain advertisement on the TV only from its music or actors even if the product itself is irrelevant. First and foremost, not only can customers be attracted to superfluous products through social media, but also a salesman can convince you that you are in need of that product although you are not. It cannot be denied that various convincing techniques are taught in universities, which without negotiation have a major impact on items sold. Despite the obvious evidence mentioned, one cannot turn a blind eye on the incontestable proofs that the real needs of the society are the main controller. The first and the most salient point is that people normally buy what they need. In spite of the fact that it may seem weird that people will waste their money on a useless product just because of an advertisement, this actually happens especially in a luxurious product for a niche market. In conclusion, I have a resolute unwavering advocate that convincing skills are the bedrock of sales. Additionally, Not only do I suggest that customers should think wisely before taking the decision of buying a specific product, but I also suggest that they ask for their friends advise and their point of view should be taken into consideration.
Nowadays, the debate whether the high revenue of popular consumer
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
goods
mirror the power of advertising or the real
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
need
of the society is the main leader, has caused a ruckus among myriads of citizens.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
may
Possible agreement error - use third-person verb forms for singular and mass nouns: "believes".
believe
that the power of advertising is the main driver of these sales;
however
opponents disagree-claiming that high sales
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
only
result from customers'
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
needs
, with
Possible spelling mistake. 'emphasise' is British English.
emphasise
to my perspective, I acquiesce that although both influences the volume of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
goods
sold, advertising has the major role in convincing customers.

Extremely
biased to my standpoint, there is a vast plethora of proofs of the power of advertising
especially
among
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
teenagers
.
For example
, a kid may
be attracted
to a certain advertisement on the TV
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
only
from its music or actors even if the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
product
itself is irrelevant.
First
and foremost, not
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
only
can customers
be attracted
to superfluous
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
products
through social media,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
also
a salesman can convince you that you are in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
need
of that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
product
although you are not. It cannot
be denied
that various convincing techniques
are taught
in universities, which without negotiation have a major impact on items sold.

Despite the obvious evidence mentioned, one cannot turn a blind eye on the incontestable proofs that the real
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
needs
of the society are the main controller. The
first
and the most salient point is that
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
normally
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
buy
what they
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
need
.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
In spite of
the fact that it may seem weird that
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
will waste their money on a useless
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
product
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of an advertisement, this actually happens
especially
in a luxurious
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
product
for a niche market.

In conclusion
, I have a resolute unwavering advocate that convincing
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skills
are the bedrock of sales.
Additionally
, Not
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
only
do I suggest that customers should
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
wisely
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
before
taking the decision of buying a specific
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
product
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
I
also
suggest that they
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
ask for
their friends advise and their point of view should
be taken
into consideration.
12Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
15Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
2Mistakes
With languages, you are at home anywhere.
Edward De Waal

IELTS essay Today the high sales of popular consumer goods reflect the power of advertising and not the real needs of the society in which they are sold. v. 8

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
323 words
6
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
Similar posts


Recent posts