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in some countries, a few earn extremely high salaries. Some people think that this is good for a country, while others belive that the government should control salaries and limit the amount people can earn Discuss both the views and give your opinion. v.1

in some countries, a few earn extremely high salaries. Some people think that this is good for a country, while others belive that the government should control salaries and limit the amount people can earn v. 1
Some professionals are well-paid in few countries. While some argue that this is beneficial for a country, Others believe that government ought to restrict the amount Paid to employees. In this essay, I will discuss both sides of the arguments and support the former view with relevant examples. On the one hand, Those who believe that limiting salaries of government is necessary because this will curtail other employees' success. This is due to unfair paying system, Which de-motivates other employees at work place. For instance, If two employees with same credentials working in a same field and are not paid equally, then one has to face hurdles in his career growth which is completely injustice within employees. Therefore, government must impose such limitation to employee salaries in order to avoid any discrimination. On the other hand, my view is that employees who earn immensely high salaries can boost the country's economy. This happens when an employee becomes a high taxpayer to the government, which will have a great contribution towards development. For example, If high earning professional pays the tax on time, then this money can be utilized towards under privileged people in terms of health care and education. As a result, such payments will turn-out to be profitable to the country's progress. In conclusion, Although some believe that government should put limitation on salaries as it decline the success of other employees, I believe that employees with Extremely high salaries can be beneficial to the government because they pay taxes.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
professionals are well-paid in few countries. While
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
argue that this is beneficial for a country, Others
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
believe
that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
government
ought to restrict the amount Paid to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
employees
. In this essay, I will discuss both sides of the arguments and support the former view with relevant examples.

On the one hand, Those who
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
believe
that limiting
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
salaries
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
government
is necessary
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
this will curtail
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
employees' success. This is due to unfair paying system,

“Which” at the beginning of a sentence usually requires a 2nd clause. Maybe a comma, question or exclamation mark is missing, or the sentence is incomplete and should be joined with the following sentence.
Which
Possible spelling mistake found.
de-motivates
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
employees
at work place.
For instance
, If two
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
employees
with same credentials working in a same field and are not paid
equally
, then one
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
has to
face hurdles in his career growth which is completely injustice within
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
employees
.
Therefore
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
government
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
impose such limitation to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
employee
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
salaries
in order to avoid any discrimination.

On the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
hand, my view is that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
employees
who earn
immensely
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
high
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
salaries
can boost the country's economy.

This happens when an
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
employee
becomes a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
high
taxpayer to the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
government
, which will have a great contribution towards development.
For example
, If
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
high
earning professional pays the tax on time, then this money can
be utilized
towards under privileged
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
in terms of health care and education.

As a result
, such payments will turn-out to be profitable to the country's progress.

In conclusion
, Although
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
believe
that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
government
should put limitation on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
salaries
as it decline the success of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
employees
, I
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
believe
that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
employees
with

Extremely
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
high
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
salaries
can be beneficial to the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
government
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
they pay taxes.
7Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
32Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
2Mistakes

IELTS essay in some countries, a few earn extremely high salaries. Some people think that this is good for a country, while others belive that the government should control salaries and limit the amount people can earn v. 1

Essay
  American English
8 paragraphs
251 words
6
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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